Tag Archives: Funny story

Bye bye Tooth #5

Bye bye Tooth #5
Bye bye Tooth #5

My daughter lost another tooth today. This is her 5th tooth to fall out, but her 3rd in the last two months. She lost one just before Labor Day, then another just after school picture day (at the end of September), and then today. She came off the school bus with the tooth hanging around her neck in a plastic tooth-shaped case that the school gave her. She was so thrilled to have lost yet another tooth. She told me all about it, how she was “eating an apple and could feel that the tooth was loose so she just started wiggling until it came out and it had blood all over it and everything!” Keep in mind she was speaking with a significant lisp, since she’s missing 5 front teeth, and also she lost her voice yesterday so it’s all kind of a whisper. A lispy whisper. Say that three times fast.

I think the irony of this is that she is scheduled for her 6 month dental check-up and cleaning in three days. I don’t know whether I should cancel it or ask for a discount.

This girl is making a killing off the Tooth Fairy Game. I’m sure she knows the fairy is fictional, but she sure knows the money that shows up under her pillow is real!

At bedtime I asked her to remember her tooth, so she could leave it under her pillow. She couldn’t find it. She swore she had it with her as she was sitting on the couch. My son and I searched all around, under, and in the couch and we could not find it. That’s when I remembered that earlier the dog had been lying there, right in front of Natalie, when she started heaving (the dog, not the girl). I had quickly rushed her to the kitchen where she proceeded to vomit all over the linoleum. I had scooped it all up into a grocery bag so I could seal it up before putting in the trash, in order to keep it from stinking up the kitchen. My thought at this point was that the tooth had fallen to the floor and Piper had eaten it, choked on it, and puked it up along with the rawhide she had been chewing and her dog food from earlier.

So, since I don’t see well and often have to use my hands to “see”, I enlisted my son’s help. We took the bag out of the trash, ripped it open on the linoleum, and began searching. Luke carefully inspected while I held the flashlight. We couldn’t find the tooth. I thought for sure it was still in Piper’s belly, and my son would find it later when he cleans up her poo from the backyard. So, we closed the bag back up and stuck it back in the trash. When we stood up from the floor, Luke was facing the dining room table, and I heard him laugh out loud. Guess what he saw sitting  smack dab in the middle of the table? That’s right, the tooth. We had sifted through dog vomit for nothing.

It wasn’t entirely grotesque, we were happy to have found the tooth for Natalie, and we had a good laugh at ourselves. Ridiculously, it was one of the best parts of my day!

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Funny story…

My husband is out of town for work, so I’m in charge for a few days. This is another small victory in my book, as around this time two years ago I was nearly a vegetable. He took this same trip last year, but this year I have that bed-shaker alarm to wake me up in the morning, AND I’ve been feeling so much better, so I was extremely confident in my abilities to hold down the fort sans husband. Pride comes before a fall, folks.

At 8:00 am, the time we are supposed to be AT the bus stop, my daughter was still fiddling to get her shoes on and I was frantically looking for my keys. The coffee was brewing, so that it would be waiting for me when I returned from dropping off the kids. Once Natalie had her shoes on, we headed out the door. I hadn’t found my keys, but figured I would just use the keypad on the garage door when I came back. No biggie. Right?

Fifteen minutes later, the kids are on the bus, and I am back home. However, as I was walking up the driveway I remembered that I had locked the interior door inside the garage the night before. The one I intended to use to get back in the house. Because, you know, my protector husband wasn’t home and I’m suddenly paranoid about people breaking into garages. I guess. This is my first garage, what do I know?

I was pretty quickly on the verge of panicking, but I knew that wouldn’t do me any good so by the grace of God I stayed calm and I didn’t even cry! (Seriously, there were no tears shed in the making of this story) My next thought was that maybe the back door was still unlocked from when Luke let the dog out this morning. I mean, why would he lock the door back up? It’s sort of a responsible thing to do, and not likely for an 8 year old to do without being told. So, I hopped the neighbor’s fence (it’s much shorter than ours, and the gate to their yard is not padlocked as ours is) and tried the back door.

As it turns out, my 8 year old is a responsible young boy.

Did I mention I had also left my phone at home?

Yes, I was in some serious trouble here. But it was still early, and lots of people were home. In fact, I knew the guy across the street was home because he was walking back just ahead of me after dropping his son off at the bus stop. So, I walked over and knocked on the door. Sure enough, he came to the door and let me in to use his phone. I left a message for my husband and then we walked over to my house to see if we could open a window (we couldn’t, not without doing some damage). Thankfully Mike called back while we were burglarizing the house in broad daylight, and he suggested that there might still be a key in the garage where he had left it for his dad. We looked, and it was not there, so we called back and had him call his dad to come and unlock the door for me. BIG sigh of relief!!

I only needed to wait a half an hour, but a half hour sitting in a garage with no one to talk to and nothing to read can feel like an eternity. Also, my freshly brewed coffee was waiting for me just on the other side!! What was I to do?! Well, I swept the garage floor – thoroughly. Then I blew some bubbles in the front yard. And sure enough, Grandpa came pulling up the drive soon enough. I sheepishly kept my head down, embarrassed as ever, and Grandpa just chuckled at me. This stuff happens to the best of us. If you can’t laugh about it, you are taking life way too seriously. So, I’m laughing about it now. And you can bet I owe Matthew from across the street a big batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies!