Introducing Mindy, Still

In August of last year, I started suffering from tinnitus (ringing in the ears). I went to see my primary physician, and they referred me to a local ENT office (ear, nose, & throat). They were able to see me rather quickly, within a few short days. However, in these few short days I lost my hearing. It was that quick.

I should give some background since this is the start of a new blog. I am 36 years old, been married 15 years, and have two children. Luke is 6, and Natalie is 4. When I was pregnant with Natalie, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). I did quite well with it for several years, but this past year has certainly been the hardest.

I still have severe bilateral hearing loss, but in addition, I have some vision loss. I started having problems with the vision in September, but it has since improved some and found sort of a holding place. It’s difficult to describe how things look now, but I’ll try. I can see some things very clearly, but I have a sort of oblong white cloud on the left side. Also, colors are very distorted. I can recognize some bright colors like red or pink, as long as they aren’t terribly light. If they are surrounded by too much light, they are completely washed out. I need high contrast in order to distinguish objects or faces. I am able to read, but it is very tiring as I have to concentrate intently on keeping my place on the page. I do most of my reading on the computer or my Kindle Fire with high contrast settings or white lettering on a dark background.

That last bit was somewhat of a rabbit trail. I’ll have plenty of time to explain things here on the blog, but I wanted to explain where the title, “Still Mindy” came from.

When I first lost my hearing I was really struggling with my new identity as a deaf person, and was struggling to have hope that it was only temporary. I was talking with my dad about it, and he encouraged me by reminding me that, deaf or hearing, I am still Mindy. That really struck a cord with me, and I held onto it. I even used it to give myself my ASL (American Sign Language) name. So the first explanation for the name is that I will always remain true to who I am, no matter what.

The second part of the explanation is even more exciting, in my opinion. This whole experience has led me to a deeper relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have been clinging to Him throughout it all. For many months it was dynamic, and He was speaking o me and teaching me new things. And then it stopped. I knew He was still there, but He wasn’t saying anything. I kept praying and begging for a word, and then one day it came. He said in Exodus 14:14 that He is fighting for me, and I need to hold my peace. I didn’t think anything of it, but then the next day the same verse came to me through an entirely different format. It’s been a couple of months and I keep asking what I should be *doing*, and He just keeps telling me to BE STILL.

So. I am still Mindy, and I am learning to be still, in God’s presence and peace. And along the way, I’ll be sharing what I’m learning, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, and I hope that you will join me and let it bless you!

First post, about the “Jordan”

As I’m searching for ideas for a header for this blog (e.g. Jordan River, paisley, etc.) my 4 year old daughter, Natalie, who has been on her “cell phone” sort of stomping around frantically and screaming in frustration for several minutes, finally hangs up and tells me she’s been on the phone with the police. They have arrested Jordan (whom I can’t recall hearing about, ever) because she’s mean. And they are going to keep her there for a very long time.

So, I decided the other day to start blogging again, but had yet to start posting. Then this happens, and I’m thinking, this sufficient for a “first post”, right? It’s not the Jordan I was looking for, but it’s a start!

I may be deaf and half-blind, but I am and will always be… still Mindy