First Impressions

Today was the day my first cochlear implant was activated. I wasn’t sure how it would go, but I went in with an open mind, and I’m glad I did. Here are some of my first impressions:

1) Everyone sounds like chipmunks. So when they turned it on and started talking to me, I sat there, grinning like an idiot, trying not to giggle (I failed).

2) Natalie told me she loved me, and I told her I loved her too, and then I started to cry. This is what I was waiting for. I think a lot of times she speaks without sound when she talks to me, and in a very exaggerated way, so it’s going to take some learning on her part to remember to talk normally again. But thankfully, she is a smart girl and a very quick learner. I think as weird as it was for her when I went deaf, this is also a new kind of weird. So we’ll journey this weirdness together.

3) When they were setting the base volume level, they played a series of beeps. I had dried my tears from before, and this just got them going again. It’s been 11 months of having nothing sound real or normal, and those beeps, those sounds, they were beautiful. Beautifully real sounds.

4) On the drive home I could hear the beats to the music, and the road noise from the tires, and I just stared out the window. And again let the tears fall. I was struck with the simplicity and normalcy of sound. I believe I really had forgotten what I had lost. The memory of it, and then the reality of it being returned to me was just overwhelming. Simple sounds we all take for granted. The shuffling of papers, footsteps around me, my own husband’s voice. These are all things I took for granted, and they were taken from me. Yet for some reason only known to God, they are being returned to me. To say that I am grateful is a colossal understatement.

These past 11 months have been a journey, and today is the next step on that journey. I thought at first that it was a new journey, but I think that’s wrong. What I have been through has shaped me in ways I am still discovering, and it has made me who I am today. I am more patient, more courageous, more thoughtful of others. Stronger, yet tender-hearted.

Yet, still Mindy.

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Today is the Day

No morning soundtrack today. Just the sound of angels humming a light tune. Very relaxing.

Hubby picks me and the kids up in 30 minutes to drive to the audiologist for a 2 pm ci activation.

Luke lost the other front tooth this morning.

Oh, and to top it all off, I found out today I won a free book from Lipreading Mom!

Very exciting day, indeed!

Morning soundtracks

You know how some alarms can be set to wake you up with music? Yeah, I kind of have that going on in my head now. It doesn’t necessarily wake me up, but I do have music playing in my head very soon after I wake in the morning. Last week I think I mentioned one day it was Pearl Jam. It’s such a strange variety, I really should have been keeping track all along. For example, yesterday morning it was an old children’s song we used to sing. “On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed!”. This morning it was one of my favorites, “Some Nights” by Fun.

Music is a big deal to me. Clearly. So it was a huge loss when I lost my hearing. You lose so much more than just your hearing. But, by George, tomorrow I’ll be heading down the road to hearing again, when my cochlear implant is turned on. Activation Day. TOMORROW! I don’t know how it will go, or how soon I’ll be understanding speech or enjoying music, but I am praying that it comes sooner rather than later. Later sucks. We vote for Sooner.

I wonder what tomorrow’s morning song will be? Perhaps a little “Eye of the Tiger”?

I miss the music

I have a feeling these next three days are going to be very emotional as I’m leading up to my first cochlear implant activation. I saw a commercial come on for some cheesy concert and it made me cry. It reminded me of the last concert I attended, which was about a month before I lost my hearing. It was an outdoor concert I attended with one of my best friends, and it was amazing. We went to see Awolnation, MGMT, and Twenty-One Pilots. Awolnation sucked raw eggs, but Twenty-One Pilots knocked my socks off! And MGMT was a great cap to the whole event. Their music was entrancing, and purely magical when the fireworks went off from the nearby baseball game. It was certainly a night to remember.

So there I stood, in front of the television, crying tears of sadness, but mostly tears of joy, because I am glad to have that memory and am also hopeful that one day I may be able to enjoy a concert again. If nothing else, I’ll be pulling up my Twenty-One Pilots album as soon as possible post-activation. That and one of my favorite worship songs, “Oh How He Loves Me” sung by Kim Walker. I’m so jazzed.