Category Archives: Writing

Relishing the daily humdrum

Hmm. Well, I’ve kind of been feeling a blog post on the edge of my fingertips for some time (a couple weeks, not long), but now that I find the time and manage to sit down at my computer I’m at a loss for words. Isn’t that funny how that works? But now that I’ve started I’m sure the words will come. It usually happens like that. Usually.

Remember how I said I wanted to write a book? That’s not really all that true anymore. I love writing, yes, but the book idea was kind of daunting. It was never really my idea. Lots of people told me, after all that had happened to me in such a short period of time, that I should write a book. And I do love to write, so I thought it made sense. But I really never felt a nudge from God on that. He was pretty clear with me about writing this blog, and sharing my stories with others, but that was it. I do love to share my stories, when I can remember them, so I’m sure it’s possible that some day down the road we’ll get those stories all gathered together in a book, but I’m no longer putting pressure on myself to make that happen.

So I’ve decided to focus on other things lately. I am focusing on embracing the gift of each moment, embracing this new life I’ve found myself in. What does that look like? Nothing really out of the ordinary, really. Taking care of our home, taking care of the kids. Spending time with my family and friends. Wrestling tournaments, Girl Scout troop meetings, class parties, shopping trips. All blissfully ordinary things.

I don’t want to bore you with the details of those ordinary things, but I do want to explain why they are so significant to me. When I lost my hearing and my vision 2 1/2 years ago and I was in the hospital, they weren’t sure I was going to make it. But I did, I made it. And the recovery process that followed was tough on all of us, but I finally feel like we have made it THROUGH. We, as a family, have recovered, adjusted, adapted, and we are moving on with our lives. Granted, it’s quite different than what we may have envisioned, but I am firm in the belief that it is better. We have challenges, yes, but we are better off in spite of those challenges. Or maybe, perhaps, because of those challenges.  Life is good, folks. Real good.

“Every day is new again
Every day is yours to win
And that’s how heroes are made”

“Every Day is Yours to Win” ~R.E.M.



So. I’ve been feeling rather irritated with myself lately, or just irritated in general, I can’t decide which. I find myself wasting a lot of time. It’s true that I have a lot of time with being home all day, no job, kids at school, and I can certainly afford to waste it. But I just don’t feel satisfied with that. I believe when I get in the habit of wasting a lot of time, that it sends me on a sluggish spiral down to Lazy Town. Then nothing gets accomplished. No book gets written, no good meals get planned or prepared, the dust starts to settle and cake up on the surfaces (metaphorically, mostly. Mostly.).

So I made an executive decision today and uninstalled Facebook from my phone. Because I’m pretty positive that’s what’s causing most of this. Not all, but a good portion of it. I also spend a lot of time reading books on my phone, but I’m not ready to call that “wasting time”. I love the books.

Here’s the issue with Facebook lately. My feed is 90% BORING. The other 10% contains thoughts and stories and updates from people I actually know. I know some people have decided to check out of Facebook altogether, but that 10% I would be missing is too important to me to give up. So rather than giving it up, I’m just going to limit my exposure to the section of the day when I intentionally sit down with my laptop to “work”. I have my alloted time every day to work: pay bills, plan meals, write, etc. and when I’m done working or need a break I can hop over to Facebook and catch up. So I’ll still be around, but it won’t consume my time or thoughts. In theory, of course, it’s only been 12 hours 😉

Getting back to it

I’m back! The illness is gone. We have recovered. We all came through unscathed; my husband and the dog both managed to avoid it altogether (I do hope I’m not jinxing my husband by saying this).

I got back to working on the book I’m writing. I gave myself a deadline of 12/31/15, which is quite aggressive I know, but I also know I have to do such things to keep me from giving up altogether. Deadlines motivate, y’all. The book is a memoir of sorts, so it’s not a cut and dried process. I understand this, and know full well that I may not have a rough draft by my deadline, but progress is progress. Phleh.

I had a thought today (while in the shower… all my favorite ideas come to me while I’m washing my hair) that maybe I will start blogging every day. That sounds like another aggressive goal, doesn’t it? Well, I’m not talking about writing good stuff every day. Just every day, I will plan to share my favorite thought or event from that day. I use the term “event” loosely, as it could be as lame as “the dog didn’t piss me off today, and here’s why…” To make this daily occurrence even more exciting for you loyal readers, I would give it a snarky name, like The Daily Snippet. Or to be more true to how it will likely end up, The Sometimes Daily Snippet. What do you think? Wanna play along? Some days you may be totally bored with it, and others I may just get lucky and strike a funny bone. You just never know, you know? Sounds exciting, right? Let’s start here…

Today’s Daily Snippet:
I love Pandora. It plays the old stuff, the stuff I remember, pre-hearing loss. The songs and rhythms that are familiar to me are the only types of music I can enjoy at this point, with my cochlear implants. I’m told it will get better with time, and to just be patient. Listening to familiar songs is supposed to help. Thank you Pandora, for helping my brain re-learn how to hear and enjoy music. And thank you Beck, for being your funky cool self 🙂

Also notable today, I did some rearranging around the house and that always makes me feel happy. Helps me forget all the evil going on the world right now, if only for a moment.

Hug your loved ones today, and every day. Peace out!

Spring break festivities

I had a wonderful day today. Yesterday was okay, with the exception of a large dental expense. It almost physically pains me to pay for dental work, but it’s gotta be done. A necessary evil, I suppose.

Speaking of necessary evils, today I helped a friend prepare her tax return. She’s a smart cookie and probably didn’t really need my help, but I was able to offer moral support and celebrate with her when we were done. She ended up getting a refund rather than owing a crap-ton of money, so it was definitely cause for celebration. We took the kids out for ice cream cones. It was cold and rainy, but in my book the weather is always perfect for ice cream.

Tomorrow the kids and I will be taking the Spec-Tran to the local bounce house. We’ll be there all afternoon, so we’ll need to be sure to bring snacks and other supplies. I’ll bring electronics just in case one of them gets bored, but I’m hoping that doesn’t happen. I’m really hoping they play away and forget about me so I can sit, uninterrupted, and work on writing my book. It will be a great day for all of us, I’m sure.

Chapter ONE

It all started with jury duty. It was a welcome reprieve from my stressful job as a collections & finance manager, but I wouldn’t say I was enjoying it. The acoustics in the County Court building seemed really terrible. I was hearing some sort of ringing, a high pitched whine. Only the ringing didn’t go away when I left the building. It continued, worsening even, throughout the week. On day three, when I cupped my hands over my ears and snapped at my kids for being noisy, my husband knew something was wrong. “You need to call the doctor”, he said.

He was right.

That was early August of 2013.  A lot has happened since then. A lot has changed. Whether the changes are good or bad is all a matter of perspective. This is my story, from my perspective; the good, the bad, and everything in between.

There’s your teaser, for the book that may or may not get written. What next? I barely remember the 6 months following that. I’m having memory problems. Clarity issues. WRITER’S BLOCK. Is there a cure? Is it permanent? Will she ever break free?!?!

I think this is the kind of endeavor that drives people to Crazy Town. I might be okay with that 😉

My Comfy Writing Spot

Not sure what to write about, but I’m in my little comfy spot in the kitchen. In the corner next to the window, surrounded by shelves and with Piper puppy sleeping peacefully in her crate at my feet. And hot coffee at the ready, of course.

The exciting point of my day may be when the mail is delivered, but probably not. I already received what I was waiting for, which is the Spec-Tran approval I blogged about last night.

When I’m bored like this it’s nice to goof around on Facebook. A friend announced she found the best granola, so of course that sparked a lengthy comment thread. The food posts always do.

This has been a wonderfully uneventful week so far, which I much appreciate after last week. Last week was brutal. All the sickness and the cold. Kids home for the better part of the week, which I should love, but.. I was (am) feeling pretty fatigued. And throw a four-month old puppy into the mix? Just a little more than I can handle. And now hubby sounds like he is developing what we all had. That was inevitable, I suppose.

So when life has slowed down what do I do? I nap, first and foremost, but then when I feel mostly rested I clean. Dishes, laundry, floors, etc. It’s all never-ending. Meaning you are never “done” with laundry or dishes or cleaning floors. These are things that are constantly in progress.  Once I realized that fully, I stopped putting them on my to-do-list. It seemed silly to keep crossing them off only to put them back on again. So now my to-do list consists of more irregular things like paying bills and clipping my toenails.

I would really like to get back to writing that book. The process (which honestly hadn’t really begun) got halted when we all fell ill. And now I need to get back at it. To be honest, I feel extremely inadequate at this whole book-writing-thing. Am I even doing it right? I’m just writing, hoping it turns into something I can have published so that people can read it. But publishing, well that’s a road I have not traveled and have no clue how to find. Yet. Let’s write the book first. And this corner spot in my kitchen is the perfect place for it.  As long as Piper complies, I could make this a daily ritual. Sitting here, sipping my coffee, tapping away at the keys. That sounds like a Happy Place if you ask me.

Now, enough rambling for me. I will let you go. I have words to write!

I promise the book won’t be this boring

“1/22/14: Housecleaning. So I did the dishes today, which mainly consisted of filling up the washer and running it. Then I wiped down all the counters. Then I took the stovetop apart and scrubbed it down. I didn’t find the missing rubber pad, but I did find some areas that needed more scrubbing. I used the green scrubby and the crumbs came right off. Then I wiped everything down again with the spray and paper towel. All nice and shiny. I may have missed some spots, but it’s much better than it was.”

Wow. I’m reading back through my journals from a year ago, in an effort to get inspiration and ideas for structuring the book I’m writing.

It’s not going so well.

There is a lot of mundane tedium mixed in, so filtering out the good stuff is proving more challenging than I had hoped. But once I get through reading everything I think I’ll be ready to form a thorough framework or outline for the book, and then I can just start writing. I hope, anyway. This is all very new to me. It’s very daunting, and I have numerous doubts that I can do this. But why not? Why not me? I’ve loved writing for as long as I can remember. This past year and a half life has thrown some major curveballs, and I’ve learned a great deal through all of it. So now I have something to write about. Something hopefully others will want to read. I just have to get the words out. One. Day. At. A. Time.

No, wait. You know what? Maybe I’m getting hung up on all this preparation – structure – outline crap. What if I just started writing? It’s worth a shot, right? Only this time I’ll leave out all the house cleaning details 😉