I went to see my neuro-ophthalmologist (I finally mastered spelling that word) yesterday for my three-month follow-up visit. Wonderful news – as I suspected, the tests show that my vision has improved. It’s a small improvement, but it’s movement in the right direction, and that thrills me. We asked Dr. Kaufman what he thought about me driving again, if only for short distances. I feel close to comfortable getting back behind the wheel, but I trust his opinion, and was anxious to hear what he had to say. I was pleased with his response. For one, he didn’t laugh at me or show any indication that he thought the idea was absurd. However, he thought it was too soon for me to be safely behind the wheel. He did, however, suggest we talk again in another 2-3 months and see how I’m doing then. He believes my vision will continue to improve, and thinks eventually I would be able to look at driving in a wide open lot, with Mike’s supervision. He said my vision won’t ever get back to normal, but I didn’t really expect that anyway. I’m just happy that it’s better than it was. The doctor at the Mayo Clinic last January said that it would not get better. Since then, I have been praying and believing that God knows better, and that He is healing my eyes. He invented them in the first place, so I know He can do it. And look! He IS!!
I love my family, and I love having my kids and husband around. I do. I really do. But it’s Monday again, and after they walked out the door and I sat down with my morning cup of coffee, I was almost in tears. It’s hard to explain, but it’s as if a sense of calm is rising up in me, sensing that it has permission to come out. And while I have lots on my to-do list this week, in addition to doctor’s appointments, I think today I’m going to let that Calm out today, and stay, uninhibited.
I’m extremely exhausted. The fatigue kind of exhaustion, which I hadn’t felt in awhile. It is not a welcome feeling. It comes with a discomfort, but I think that’s all part of the design. The discomfort pokes and prods until you give in and say, “Okay, let’s stop here. Time to rest.” So this morning I am slamming on the brakes. Yet again.
I just have to publicize this. I’ve been secretly becoming aware that my eyesight is getting better. The changes are subtle but they are becoming more frequent. I’m finding the mouse arrow faster. When I was riding in the car on the way to Dr. Hong’s office to get my stitches out, the scenery just seemed different. Clearer, like I was seeing things better. I still have a slight blind spot, but things do seem to be improving. Then today, I noticed something in the shower. This may be TMI, but My hair falls out a lot, and when it is still stuck to me after I turn the water off, I remove it and collect it on a certain spot on the shower wall, to wipe off after I get my towel. Since the damage to my optic nerves, I haven’t been able to actually see the strands of hair, but today I was! So either my hair is getting darker (not likely) or my eyes truly are better!
Healing of my eyes has been one of my most desperate prayer requests, and I am stoked to see God answering it! Praise God!
Psalm 30:2 “LORD my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.” (NIV)