Category Archives: Multiple Sclerosis

Courage

Yesterday was my scheduled long run of the week, in preparation for my very first half marathon in 36 days (but who’s counting?). I planned out my route, a simple 5 miles out through town and on to the park trails, and 5 miles back. I started out feeling really strong, and I was excited for this run because up to this point my longest run had been 8 miles. I knew I was going to have to walk for parts of it, to rest my knee, and I was okay with that concession.

Do you ever embark on a new challenge and you feel really confident about it, only to fall flat on your face, metaphorically speaking? Well, I did this, only it wasn’t metaphorical. A mile and a half in to this long run, I tripped on the sidewalk and fell Flat. On. My. Face. I sat on the grass between the sidewalk and the street and inspected my wounds. Were my teeth still in tact? Was I gushing blood? Were my cochlear implants still on my head? Yes, no, and surprisingly, yes. After about 20 seconds I stood up, brushed myself off, and continued to run. But as I ran I could feel my upper lip swelling and I could taste blood. I decided to call my husband, who happened to be working from home that day, and ask him to bring me some ice. Until he drove up to give me the ice pack, I fully intended to run the remaining 8.5 miles with a fat lip and what would eventually turn into a massive headache. I think he could see that I was on the verge of tears, and he suggested that I ride back home with him and just rest a bit, that I could always go back out when I was ready. After a few moments of hesitation, I said yes. I kept my running clothes on for several hours, under the delusion that I would go back out and run the 10 miles. But then the headache came, and I decided I was better off taking an Aleve and sleeping for awhile. I could always try again Saturday.

So Friday felt like a bust and I woke up Saturday knowing this was my day to get that long run in, but really feeling like I need to be safer about it. This had been the 3rd time I fell this month, and while I need those long runs to prepare my body for 13.1, I don’t think it’s wise to run so far from home without a guide. I can still get the same workout on the dreaded treadmill in our basement. I hate running on the treadmill, but I need to get ready for this race, and not injure myself in the process.

To be honest, I woke up Saturday not really sure if I was going to run or not. But then I was on Facebook and my friends were posting reports of their long training runs. And then a friend texted asking how my face was doing, and another friend reminding me that yesterday’s fall was not failure, because she still remembers when I needed a walker to walk. So with a few messages of encouragement, in just a matter of minutes, my extreme discouragement transformed into full-on Courage. I was ready to run these miles. The icing on the cake, folks, was when I walked down to the treadmill and was reminded of the picture I keep above the display that says: “There will be a day when I can no longer run. Today is not that day.” I had forgotten all about it, but you can bet that was the final word of encouragement I needed to make sure I got that run started. And once I start, you better believe I’m a stubborn mule and I will finish, dang it.

I learned some things about running on the treadmill. One, when you run longer than 99 minutes, it stops moving and restarts the timer. Thankfully it didn’t reset the distance because that would have really frustrated me, but I ended the run at 9.99 miles just to be on the safe side. Some other advantages to the treadmill are that I can watch tv, I can stream Pandora without using data, and I have immediate access to a bathroom. So it wasn’t all bad. I did struggle with finding a good pace but I suppose that’s all part of the training. Better to figure this stuff out here in the safety of my home, than out on the course on race day.

I’ll be honest, compared to most of my runs, this one was pretty sucky, but it’s done and I have to be okay with that. My legs didn’t fail me, although my knee did cause me to fall once so I was glad I had a grab bar, I had zero drop foot issues, and I was actually able to finish with a very slow jog. So it’s a win in my book, whether I like it or not. Two days of rest and then I’ll be back out again for some short runs!

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Waiting for the crash

Last night I stayed up way too late watching Pretty Woman on tv. Because I don’t know why. Because I had recorded it, and then started watching it not being entirely aware of the time, and then not being able to turn it off in the middle. Because you’ve gotta finish what you’ve started, right? I won’t get started on what a classic, feel good movie that is. It just is for me, and I don’t care if you judge me for it. Julia Roberts is just genius in that role. That’s all.

Anyway, so I was up way too late, and then had to get up early this morning to wake my daughter to get ready for the second day of horse camp. Then, even though I kept telling myself I was going to go back to bed, I just sort of kept moving on with my day. Luke and I rode bikes to get lunch at Taco Bell, my vitamins from Rite-Aid, and then ice cream at Sweet Sensations. It was a great afternoon, and then I thought maybe I would catch a nap before Natalie got home from camp, but I just, well, didn’t. Then I made dinner for the family and now I’m sitting here wondering when I’m going to hit that wall of fatigue. Yet, it just doesn’t seem to be coming. Hallelujah, praise the Lord, I’m operating like a normal healthy person!

This may be the healthiest I have ever felt. I don’t even remember having this kind of energy when I was in my twenties. I’m sure I did, I just don’t remember it, ha! So I’m writing this down so that I can remember how I feel and perhaps what I’m doing to feel so good. I believe it’s all the healthy things combined that work together to allow my body to operate at its best. Staying active with running, cycling, and walking. Eating my fruits and veggies, taking my greens daily, drinking lots of water. Even the celery juice I’ve been drinking every morning seems to be having a positive effect on my sleep quality, somehow. I know the celery juice is a fad right now, but you never know, this might be one that sticks. We shall see. But all the exercise and the healthy eating (with itty bitty cheats here and there) is really working.

The best part about feeling good is that I am feeling confident about the upcoming commitments I’ve made: leading a bible study, a discipleship group, and a Financial Peace class. I’m not afraid that it will be more than I can handle, or be too much to take on as a person living with MS. I do realize that none of this healthy living makes me immune to a relapse, so I’m keeping a level head about that, but I’m praying that all this healthy stuff I’m doing will make a relapse far less likely. I’ve always said I don’t want to let fear drive my decisions, and that applies here. I can’t say no to these exciting opportunities to serve God for fear that I’ll relapse. I’m trusting that He’s the one that gave me these desires and that He’s leading me down these paths, and if that’s true, He’ll take care of the details. M.S. is no match for my God!

Just an overall great day

Today was a really great day. Nothing out of the ordinary or spectacular, it was just a good day, so I wanted to share before I head off to bed.

The kids and I went to church this morning. Hubby was at a shooting competition so it was just the three of us. We had been preparing to ride the bus, but were able to secure a ride with the pastor’s wife at the last minute. So while we were a bit excited about doing something new by riding the fixed route bus, we were thankful we didn’t have to get up super early to catch the bus. We’ll hopefully try again on another day before the summer is over.

Church was great, as usual. I love my church family, because they are just like that: family. I was able to have a bit of time after the service to catch up with the some of the other women and invited two of them to BSF in the fall.

The afternoon was spent relaxing, having lunch with the kids, chatting with my sister, and doing a bit of bookkeeping for the church. By the evening, after dinner, I was feeling pretty sluggish and the sun hadn’t set yet, so I threw on some running clothes and went for a quick two miles around the neighborhood. I’ve been doing a pretty good job with resting my knee and doing the exercises the doctor gave me, and tonight’s run really showed me that it’s paying off, because I only took a few brief walking breaks and I had no knee pain throughout the run! Even after I got home I didn’t feel any pain. Not only that, but my pace was pretty strong for the time I was running, at around 11 or 12 minutes, which is pretty fast for me. I usually average closer to 13 minute miles. So I was pretty ecstatic about that run, and it really gives me hope that I’ll still be able to complete the half marathon in 56 days!

I’m excited about the upcoming race, but I’m even more excited about a lot of leadership opportunities I have coming up. Leadership is not necessarily my comfort zone, but I feel like God has really been working on me in this area, and helping me to step out of my comfort zone little by little. I can still be my introvert self and interact with others. I really enjoy getting to know people and hearing their stories. In the fall I’ll be leading a Bible Study Fellowship group, a discipleship group through my church, and Financial Peace University. That sounds like a lot, but I’m hopeful I’ll be able to keep a good balance and manage my time well enough to handle it all.

Shifting gears here, but I recently saw the dermatologist and I thought it was just going to be a follow up to get refills on the antibiotic for my rosacea, but the doctor I was seeing left the practice so I was seeing a new one. Not new to the practice, just new to me. I was very reassured from the minute he walked in the room because he actually examined my face under the light, and the last doctor never did that, which I always thought was odd. This new doctor is changing up my medication a little bit and putting me on something stronger, with the hopes that eventually I won’t have to take the antibiotics. He also gave me a prescription for a cream that should help the specific problem areas on my face. So that was a really positive visit and I went home feeling hopeful that we can get my face cleared up even more.

So the last couple weeks were filled with a couple doctor’s visits, my monthly Tysabri infusion, and lab work to make sure I can still take the Tysabri. Then in a week or so we go to the dentist for cleanings, and take the kids to the orthodontist for evaluations. Not exactly your idea of summer fun, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Being healthy is super important to me because if I didn’t have this energy, I wouldn’t be able to do any of the volunteering that I’m signed up to do. So I’m staying focused (i.e. mildly obsessed) with the running, daily exercises, eating my fruits and veggies, drinking my greens, and taking my vitamins. Staying healthy for this M.S. girl is kind of a full time job.

Product Feature: Chocolate Greens

I am the kind of person who once I find something I love, I stick with it. I commit. Seriously. I wore the same pair of Doc Marten sandals until they were literally falling apart (and was devastated to find I couldn’t replace them because they had been discontinued 10 years prior). I’ve been using the same scent of body wash since college (sweet pea & violet). I’ve been married to the same man for over 20 years. And my favorite band has not changed since the 90s (R.E.M.). I’m loyal, and I’m not crazy about change, especially if I’ve found something that works.

So believe me when I tell you this is a product worth trying. The greens was the first product that I tried from It Works many many years ago, and I still love it. This is a powder that you can mix with just water. It is soy-free, dairy-free, non-GMO, and vegan. Its loaded with 34 fruits and veggies and 52 herbs and nutrient rich superfoods. It also has a blend of magnesium and potassium to fight acidity in your body. Y’all, this stuff is a game changer. I love to eat my fruits and veggies, but I know I still leave a lot of nutrition on the table. This is a super easy and delicious way to give my body the fuel it needs to function every day.

I first tried the orange flavor greens from a vendor at a hot air balloon show several years ago and what I remember most is that the day after I drank it, I had one of the best bowel movements I had had in a long time. Because this was way back when I was still struggling with constipation and that was kind of a big deal. So I’m sorry if you think that’s too much information, but come on. We all do it. They even wrote a book about it.

Moving on though (no pun intended ha!!).. They didn’t keep the orange flavor greens, which makes me kind of sad, but they kept two great flavors with the chocolate and the berry. If you like sweets, you’ll love the berry. If you’re a chocolate lover like myself, go with the chocolate. I’ve been trying to make a point to drink this stuff every day because I feel very strongly that it’s contributing to how great I’m feeling lately. The mental clarity I have when I’m taking it is significant. The brain fog that comes with multiple sclerosis is very common, and its both frustrating and scary. To be honest, I hadn’t really noticed that the brain fog was gone until I stopped drinking the greens regularly for awhile and it came back. I was starting to feel crummy again and it dawned on me that the only thing that had really changed was that. So now I’m making a point to drink the stuff every day, and my brain is back to its happy self again.

If this sounds like something you would be interested in trying, or if you have questions, let me know! Or if you just want to chat about your health journey and what’s working (or not) for you, I’m all ears! I am always eager to talk with others about their successes and struggles. We people gotta stick together, right?

How my phone is like me

I use my phone every day, all day. It has tons of useful features to support my life. It helps me keep myself and my family on track. Lately I had a thought I wanted to share. My phone is like a metaphor for my life. Let me explain why.

I was canoeing a couple years ago and the canoe tipped over. My phone was in a Ziploc bag, in my running belt, and water leaked into the bag, damaging my phone. I was able to soak it in a bag of rice for awhile, which restored most of its functions, but the one thing I can’t do is use the back button and that other one on the bottom left (the one that shows you all your open apps).

However, I found a workaround by using the s-pen to use those two buttons. The phone responds to the s-pen, just not my finger. A couple weeks ago I was replacing the pen into the phone and it snapped on me. It still works the way the pen should, it just doesn’t have that spring action needed to get it back out of its slot. So now if I want to use my back button, I need to bang the end of the phone on the heel of my hand in order to get the s-pen out. Other than that, the phone works great! It’s kind of ridiculous and it makes me chuckle.

It looks like a completely normal, functional phone. It just has a few broken features but there are workarounds. And that is a metaphor for my life. I am deaf but I have cochlear implants to help me hear. I am visually impaired but have friends, family, and public transportation to help me get around. I look completely normal, I just have a few broken pieces and I have my workarounds I’ve discovered I can use in order to continue functioning. So there. That is how my phone is like me.

Summer break has begun!!

We started off our summer break with a trip to the dentist yesterday (because I’m the best mom ever) via Spec-tran. Then today we went to Taco Bell via bikes (theirs) and feet (mine). I refused to buy fast food for the kids so they opted to pay for their meals. I was just in it for the miles.

This run went pretty well, considering my recent knee problems. I wore a new knee brace that was surprisingly comfortable to wear. I still had some knee pain beginning in the 4th mile, but the compression from the brace seemed to keep it tolerable. What I noticed in the beginning was that the added support on my right knee seemed to help me lift the left leg when I began to experience a little foot drop. I’m not sure how or why that works but I’m not complaining. The drop foot used to be so much worse and now I barely think about it. I’m just praying my body continues to cooperate as I add on more miles.

I really love that my kids enjoyed riding their bikes while I ran. This will allow us to go to a lot more places around town. They get their fun and I get my training runs. It’s a win-win. Of course the ultimate bonus is that we are spending quality time together.

I am super excited for this summer. Kids are getting bigger, I am getting stronger, it’s gonna be great.

Food

My relationship with food is a tad dysfunctional. I’m what Oprah (or most therapists) calls an “overthinker” and that’s certainly true when it comes to food. But I can never seem to find a middle ground. Either I’m obsessing over what I should be eating, or I’m eating whatever is available. Like, I love leftovers. You cook once, you eat for days! But sometimes the leftovers aren’t even mine. They are left from my family members, who won’t eat leftovers (with the exception of cold pizza). So I see them in the fridge and I think, “Hey we don’t want to waste that delicious food I prepared a few days ago! I better eat it.”

But the other day I was introduced to a novel concept by a friend who is also a health and nutrition coach. She talked about eating only what your body needs, and pairing healthy proteins and carbs. So you aren’t feeling deprived, and your body starts using those fat stores. I think. I maybe have it a little wrong. But here’s what I started doing. New Plan: eat 6 meals a day, up to 200 calories per meal, every 2 to 3 hours. Each meal should have a healthy protein and carb, heavy focus on the protein. And drink lots of water! And exercise.

Folks, I’ve been on this new plan since Memorial Day and I have needed zero naps to get through the day, and I’ve lost 3 pounds already. It’s crazy! I almost think it’s a fluke but I’m gonna keep going with the plan in case it’s actually working. I mean, what a concept. Exercise daily, eat healthy portions of nutritious food, and your body is happy. I’m doing all this because I had gained weight this past year. Not a ton, but enough that I had to buy new pants and I don’t feel so good in my skin. So I had started counting my calories and I lost a whopping 6 pounds and then… nothing. I was stalled for several weeks. So it’s incredible that in less than two weeks I got the scale moving in the right direction again. My end goal is to lose another 16 pounds. Folks, that may not sound like a lot, but on a 5’1″ frame, it’s significant. It’s as if I’m carrying around a gallon and a half of milk around my waist and legs. I would really love to shed those gallons.

Another incredible change that I’ve noticed is that I don’t have nearly as much brain fog. I don’t struggle as much to remember or to process things. I find this especially true on the days I’m drinking my “greens”, my It Works drink powders that have my fruits and veggie nutrients and just a tiny bit of caffeine. It’s all about the veggies, people 🙂 I’m still taking a B12 supplement but I think all of these changes put together is really helping my brain to work better.

My favorite change of all? No napping required. Stable energy levels. I’m getting up at 7ish every morning, and I have the energy throughout the day to do things. Not boundless energy like when you chug a Red Bull, but normal, constant energy. Up in the morning, devotions, coffee and breakfast, a few chores maybe, then another meal (snack), more work around the house, lunch, and on it goes. I’m not feeling like I’m losing half my day like I was when I would crash at 1 pm and wake up 2 hours later. That, and I’m kind of always eating. And do you know who loves eating? This gal, right here.

It’s like some kind of freaking miracle. I’m here, present in my surroundings. Life is finally not moving too fast for me. I’m able to keep up, and without much effort. I am so grateful to be where I am today, and I’ll never forget where I was 6 years ago. I’m going to stay on this path to better health and wellness, because there is so much life going on around me and I want to be a participant, not just a bystander. Amen? Amen.