Category Archives: Kids

Hack hack, ahem ahem, cough cough

You guys. I’ve been sick for all of two and a half days and I’m trying sooo hard not to be a baby about it, but geesh. I don’t get sick very often, but when I do, I just want to snuggle up in a cozy blanket and let people wait on me. The first part works alright but the second one, not so much. Because folks, I’m the mom. And mom doesn’t take sick days. Which is only kind of true. My family is really great about helping out and giving me my space. No one’s even complained that the laundry is piling up while I’m downstairs nursing myself back to health.  It’ll get done, eventually.

Anyhoo. Since I’ve been out of commission all I can do is sit around thinking about how little I’ve blogged lately. Not cuz my life is boring (though it is a little) but because I just haven’t been in the mood for blogging. It happens every now and then. Whatevs.

What’s going on lately, you ask? Well, the son has been busy wrestling, both for the local club and the middle school. This is exciting stuff folks. Now that he’s on the middle school team he practices every day right after school. He does not seem to be tired out by this, thankfully, and it’s been a huge load off for our resident chauffeur, my hubby. Now he doesn’t have to drop him off, then go back and pick him up. Just one trip per day, and he’s home by dinnertime. Which means we all get to eat as a family again. Every day!

The daughter is not in sports. Has no interest really, at least for now. That could change down the road but I don’t think that’s likely. Her two loves right now are art and animals. Since it’s -38 degrees outside these days, she did not want to go for more horseback riding lessons, so we found her an outlet for her art. A gentleman from our church is willing to give her weekly lessons and teach her whatever she wants to know. Right now she’s on a big Bob Ross nature scene kick, and it’s friggin’ amazing what she is able to create just after watching a few YouTube videos. I know I’m a tad biased because I’m her mother, but there’s no denying that she has some serious talent that will only get better with more training and practice.

It’s kind of weird but I’ve had zero motivation to write that book I had been talking about. I still want to tell my stories, just maybe not in that format. Maybe we’ll just keep them here on the blog for now. I could do some kind of kooky flashback series where I tell short stories about what happened to me five years ago. Or maybe I’ll get the hankering again to write the book. Who knows?

I’m just really happy doing the things I’m doing now that I don’t really feel like going back to that time. It feels too heavy. Right now good things are happening. My kids are growing and changing, and I’m able to be a part of that. I’m slowing down and trying to be more focused on the most important things. Spending time with God, family, friends. It’s been a good change.

And speaking of slow, I set myself a new goal: to run a half marathon in the fall (it’s speaking of slow cuz I’m a slow runner, get it?). I have a race picked out and a friend to run it with me. I have a training plan picked out on my Runkeeper app, and it doesn’t start until March 5th. So I have time to warm up to running regularly again. I’ve not been running since before the holidays so my legs are a little rusty.

I even spoke to my neurologist about how to train safely, and was reassured that this was not too big a goal for someone with MS. If I take it slow and am careful, it’s totally possible. In fact, she said regular exercise is just as crucial to my health as is my disease-modifying therapy. So as far as priorities, I need to bump it way back up to the top. She said that running will not cause me to relapse, but will only help to keep me from relapsing. When I run, certain symptoms flare up, like foot drop and difficulty seeing, but she said that’s because those are nerves that are already damaged. As long as I’m being safe about it, I should be fine. Which is why I always run these races with friends who can be a good set of eyes and ears for me and keep me safe. So that’s on the docket. 13.1 miles. In a row!

And that folks, is all I have for an update right now. I had a funny thought earlier and I was going to post it, but now I can’t remember it. So I apologize for my foggy memory keeping me from leaving you on a humorous note. Oh wait! I can leave you with a pun… this one I choose because we bought new winter gloves for my son today…

“I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts’ which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.”

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Frustration

I’m frustrated today. Frustrated and grumpy. It’s not anything specific, really. Just more of a general feeling. I was trying to crochet but it’s a challenging basket weave pattern and I just didn’t feel like messing with it anymore. This frustration makes me very unpleasant to be around because I’m a major grump. So I’m upstairs with a beer and a laptop, and I’m hashing it out on the keyboard. I was working on my book for awhile, with my cochlear implant volumes turned way down, and my son came into the room and scared the living daylights out of me. I didn’t hear him come in!! It’s a good thing I wasn’t holding my beer at the time. I was at a stuck point with the book anyway so the distraction was nice. He read some parts of the book and then we got to talking about what he remembered from when I first lost my hearing. It’s always interesting to hear it from my kids’ perspectives.

I think what I’ve learned today, or was reminded of, is that writing calms me. That frustrated feeling has almost completely left me, and I don’t feel like such a grump anymore. And I appreciate that you are willing to read all the silly things I write. So thank you, reader. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Victories over anxiety

I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety for the last several years but I had a breakthrough and I thought I would share it here. Yesterday was Halloween, so we had a couple families from church joining us for trick-or-treating. They live out in the country just a few miles west of us, and we are in your typical neighborhood with lots of kids and plenty of free candy to be grabbed. So around 5:30, a half hour before go-time, I was putting out snacks for our guests and grilling cheese sandwiches for the family. Our friends and their kids started showing up while I was cooking, and here’s where I noticed the difference. In hindsight, of course. After it was all over, I realized that through all that noise and chaos I remained calm, without even having to tell myself to. And not just calm, but actually enjoying having everyone there! The kids had a fantastic time, the weather was perfect, and the night felt like a true success all around.

Those who know me best know this is a huge thing for me. I’ve had some pretty big struggles with chaotic situations, leading to crying fits and panic attacks. But for the past year I’ve been on a low dose of medication and I’ve been practicing breathing techniques and really evaluating my thought processes every time anxiety rears its ugly head. And last night showed me that all of this has been working!

So that has me a little bit on cloud nine. The downside – cuz sometimes there has to be a downside – is that I must have overdone it yesterday, because I’m in a lot of pain today. It started last night with my left calf and foot, and today it has spread all the way up my leg and jumped up to my left arm. It’s a dull throbbing deep in the muscle tissue that I can only assume is nerve pain, so I’m praying a good night’s rest will make it go away. If not, I’m hoping a quick morning run will help get all those muscles stretched out and warmed up.

I can’t believe it’s only Thursday. All day I kept thinking it was Friday. Because I’m done with this week. Done, I tell ya. Stick a fork in me, I’m done!

Sleep

I sleep pretty well these days. I don’t have the burden of sound that most people have. I never have to worry about being woken in the middle of the night by the dog barking at a neighbor heading off to work the third shift, or a thunderstorm passing through. I don’t even have to worry about my husband’s snoring anymore, though I had been married long enough when I lost my hearing, and I had already learned to sleep through it.

My kids started school today. My son started middle school, which starts earlier than the elementary school does, and is located quite a bit further away from our house. Those two factors mean the school bus comes a full hour and a half earlier than his younger sister’s bus. It makes for an early morning, but it went surprisingly well today! I woke up at 5:30 to give myself time to brew my coffee and wake up a little before waking him up (He had set an alarm but slept right through it, as I had expected he would).

Y’all, I was really dreading 5:30 am but I woke this morning feeling surprisingly rested. I checked the sleeping log that connects to my watch and it said I went to bed at 11 pm and had over 3 hours of deep sleep. Six and a half hours of sleep, 3 of it deep sleep. This really surprised me because I generally sleep a full 8 hours or more and get almost 3 hours of sleep. So getting more sleep apparently wasn’t really helping me? I guess it’s all about quality, not quantity, because I had a full, busy day today and did not feel the overwhelming urge to nap. I survived an entire day that started at 5:30 am with NO NAP. What?!?! I don’t know if this is a fluke or what, so I’m going to see if I can keep it up, going to bed at 11 and getting up at 5:30.

I have to say, I really enjoyed 5:30. It was super peaceful in the house, and I was able to wake up at my speed (i.e. slow as molasses). I read my devotional, and just eased into the day. It was really nice. It was just me and my coffee, and Jesus. I’m looking forward to tomorrow morning!

Drop me in the river

My daughter and I went camping last weekend. We left on Wednesday and came back Sunday so it was a little more than a weekend. My kids (and sometimes me too) have camped with the church my dad was pastoring for the past four or five years. He is no longer pastoring the church because he is retired, but the people really bonded with us and invited us back this year. I’m so glad we went, and I hope to join them in future years, but the whole time I was there I was dreaming that we could do similar trips with our own church family back home. Someday. We’re still growing. Right now we do a camp thing but it’s just one night and it’s held on one of the family’s properties. Also, my family has not yet been able to go. Conflicting schedules and all that.

Anyhoo. The camping trip for me consisted of a lot of relaxing on the porch of our cabin, crocheting and reading. The occasional walk around the campground to chat with people. I did not see much of my daughter because she was off riding her bike and playing with the other girls. One of the girls had brought about a dozen headbands with mermaid sequin cat ears, so they each wore a headband for the duration of camp. They dubbed themselves the “kitty cat club” and I can’t even tell you how that warms my heart. That all these young girls so quickly bonded. All of the mothers and grandmothers were touched to see their bond and we hope to keep them all in touch by good old fashioned snail mail. Perhaps they can remain friends throughout school, and make appearances at each other’s graduation parties. The last night of camp they all sat around and cried because they were sad that camp was ending and they wouldn’t see each other again for a very long time, if ever.

The first full day we were there we went for a canoe ride on the river. It was so wonderful and peaceful. Until the very end. Just at the end where everyone docks we hit a large rock or log and the current of the river yanked us over. Y’all, I was so freaking scared. I saw Natalie and her friend floating away towards the dock, and then I saw my AquaMic, my waterproof case for my cochlear implant, floating away. It had come off my head and life vest in the fall, and I was struggling to catch it before it was lost forever. It took a couple grabs but I was able to secure it and get back to shore. That’s when I saw my shoe floating away. Gah! Just a shoe, I know, but still. One of the older boys at the shore, or the gentleman who had been steering our canoe, I’m not sure, was able to get to where the shoe was and grab it for me. I did not want to have to walk around camp the rest of the weekend in flip flops. But really, I was mainly happy to be on dry land and could see that Natalie and her friend had made it safely to shore as well. When I walked over to her, she was almost in tears. She said she thought she was going to lose me. That’s when I realized that I must have put on quite a spectacle of fear when I was trying not to lose my precious cochlear implant. I felt really bad but she got over it pretty quickly once we went and got ice cream, so it was fine.

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Oh, I almost forgot about my phone. I was wearing my running belt to hold money for ice cream and my phone in a Ziploc bag. I took it out at the ice cream shop to check it and realized right away that it was not doing well. Those Ziploc bags are not airtight, I guess. Or I hadn’t closed it tight enough. I freaked out a ton because my phone is my connection to the world, as I’m sure it is for most people, but my nextdoor cabin neighbor had rice that I was able to leave the phone in for the remainder of camp. It didn’t fix it completely, as I still can’t use my “back” button unless I use the phone’s stylus, but it’s otherwise fine. Answers calls, sends texts, my books are all still there. It even charges normally. So it’s only minorly disabled. Kinda like me, you could say.

The day after that canoe event we had a tug of war between the guys and gals. The tricky thing is that they do tug of war in the river. It’s shallow at the shore but it’s quite rocky and the rocks are sharp and slippery. I tripped/slipped on a fairly large rock and bruised my shin pretty well, and then went on to assist the girls in winning a match. When they made us switch sides it was a different story because that’s where all the rocks were so it was almost impossible to gain a good footing. They tried to get me to join them the following day for a rematch but I told them no. That river and me were broke up and I had no interest in going back for more abuse.

I was pretty wrecked by Saturday afternoon, and kind of ready to go home. My legs weren’t moving right, I had bruises and pulled muscles all over the place, and I missed my shower. So I’m very happy to be home, but my body is telling me it’s still not recovered from all the activity, so I’ve dubbed this entire week a Week of Recovery. I’ll be resting as much as possible, with the hope that I’ll be back to working conditions by Monday.

 

Running out of gas

I think this week I’ve been approaching a wall. Lately I’ve been doing really well, energy wise, but this week I’ve noticed myself dragging quite a bit more. I am not the Energizer Bunny. Monday I slept until 11:11. That’s about 4 hours later than usual. Every day I debate whether to push myself or to take the hint and rest. I feel like I’ve found an okay balance between the two options, but I still have that nagging feeling that I need a major reset. Each night I go to bed hoping that night’s sleep will be the reset button. Maybe tonight! We’ll see.

Oh! I’m running a fun 5k on Friday night. It’s not chip timed, so it’s not exactly competitive. However, everyone will have squirt guns so it should be fun. I’m a smidge nervous because I won’t be able to wear my cochlear implants, but I’ll be running with a friend so I’ll have her to keep an eye out for me in case anyone is shouting at me to move aside or something.

I’m still seeing a counselor for my anxiety and she’s still really helping me. I don’t go as frequently now but I still have her suggestions to take with me throughout each day, and I’m constantly analyzing my inner thoughts to retrace how I got to each state of anxiety, and that’s actually really helping. I tell myself a lot of lies, apparently. So it’s good to be working that out. I’m taking every thought captive, just like that Bible verse in 2 Corinthians. Make each thought obedient to Christ, as in make sure it’s truth!

I am making a LOT of new friends at our church, and that’s been exciting. It’s nerve-wracking at first, because it feels scary to put myself out there and introduce myself to new people who didn’t know me prior to my hearing and vision loss. It doesn’t help that I keep introducing myself to people I’ve already met. The handful of people I’ve done that with don’t seem to mind. They just smile, shake my hand and say “we’ve already met, but that’s ok!” I’m leading a Financial Peace University class in September so I’ll have even more opportunities to re-introduce myself to people! Keeps life interesting, I guess.

Summer is half over, I know, but I’m just now getting the hang of it, I believe. We have a couple trips planned in the next month or so, stuff the kids can look forward to, but with enough down time in between to recover from all the fun we’ll be having. And then before you know it the kids will be back in school. Our son is starting middle school this year so he’ll be on an earlier schedule than his sister. He’ll have to be at the bus stop by 6:30, so we’ll have to get him used to waking up super early. I have been joking with him that he’s on his own here, that no way I’m getting up that early, but we all know I am too much of a control freak to let him fly without any supervision. So I’ll have to start getting used to being up early, if only to supervise for awhile.

Well, I have CrossFit in the morning so I need to sign off for now. Good night bloggy people!

Valentine’s Surprise

As a family, we’re not very celebratory. With Valentine’s Day being kind of a Hallmark holiday, I just see it as another excuse to buy candy and throw parties at school. This year I totally flaked and didn’t plan anything for my husband or the kids, but thankfully my husband remembered. We woke up this morning to a kitchen table full of candy – he even emptied out my favorite paisley bowl and put my candy and card inside it – and a wonderfully clean kitchen. It took me a minute to catch that the mess I had left the night before was gone, but when I did my heart just melted. Thanks Mike, for being my valentine, always and forever. Wuvver!