Category Archives: Friends

Running out of gas

I think this week I’ve been approaching a wall. Lately I’ve been doing really well, energy wise, but this week I’ve noticed myself dragging quite a bit more. I am not the Energizer Bunny. Monday I slept until 11:11. That’s about 4 hours later than usual. Every day I debate whether to push myself or to take the hint and rest. I feel like I’ve found an okay balance between the two options, but I still have that nagging feeling that I need a major reset. Each night I go to bed hoping that night’s sleep will be the reset button. Maybe tonight! We’ll see.

Oh! I’m running a fun 5k on Friday night. It’s not chip timed, so it’s not exactly competitive. However, everyone will have squirt guns so it should be fun. I’m a smidge nervous because I won’t be able to wear my cochlear implants, but I’ll be running with a friend so I’ll have her to keep an eye out for me in case anyone is shouting at me to move aside or something.

I’m still seeing a counselor for my anxiety and she’s still really helping me. I don’t go as frequently now but I still have her suggestions to take with me throughout each day, and I’m constantly analyzing my inner thoughts to retrace how I got to each state of anxiety, and that’s actually really helping. I tell myself a lot of lies, apparently. So it’s good to be working that out. I’m taking every thought captive, just like that Bible verse in 2 Corinthians. Make each thought obedient to Christ, as in make sure it’s truth!

I am making a LOT of new friends at our church, and that’s been exciting. It’s nerve-wracking at first, because it feels scary to put myself out there and introduce myself to new people who didn’t know me prior to my hearing and vision loss. It doesn’t help that I keep introducing myself to people I’ve already met. The handful of people I’ve done that with don’t seem to mind. They just smile, shake my hand and say “we’ve already met, but that’s ok!” I’m leading a Financial Peace University class in September so I’ll have even more opportunities to re-introduce myself to people! Keeps life interesting, I guess.

Summer is half over, I know, but I’m just now getting the hang of it, I believe. We have a couple trips planned in the next month or so, stuff the kids can look forward to, but with enough down time in between to recover from all the fun we’ll be having. And then before you know it the kids will be back in school. Our son is starting middle school this year so he’ll be on an earlier schedule than his sister. He’ll have to be at the bus stop by 6:30, so we’ll have to get him used to waking up super early. I have been joking with him that he’s on his own here, that no way I’m getting up that early, but we all know I am too much of a control freak to let him fly without any supervision. So I’ll have to start getting used to being up early, if only to supervise for awhile.

Well, I have CrossFit in the morning so I need to sign off for now. Good night bloggy people!

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Mason 5k 2018

Last Friday my son and I ran a 5k in our town. It’s our 3rd year in a row running this race and we love it! It’s kind of a small town thing, so you end up seeing a lot of familiar faces. I love this race. The picture on the left is us right before we started. I don’t have one of us post-race, but I can assure you we were both smiling. He had so much fun running he went and joined the other kids in the 1 mile run. That second picture is a picture a woman from our church took and I just love it. If I ever need a reminder of why I’m doing all this running, that picture says it all. Pure pride and joy on my face right there.

I wore my new DeafBlind running vest and it really did make me feel more confident and safe. Although it kept riding up because I’m apparently too small for it, so I need to get that figured out for future races. My dear friend Staci joined me for the race and she decided she was going to stay right by my side for the entire thing, so that was a huge comfort as well. I’m kind of a loner when it comes to running and I get hyper-focused, and I think she is similar in that way so it was nice for her to be there. We were both running alone, together!

I got a slow start training for this race because of my sprained ankle, so it didn’t go as well as races in the past have. I had a lot of problem with bodily functions, and with my left foot dragging. Around the 2nd mile I had a really sharp pain in my right shoulder and I tried to stop and walk to let it rest, but I wasn’t able to keep my foot from dragging and I kept losing my balance, so I just had to push through the pain jogging until it went away about halfway through the last mile. It’s strange and interesting to me that I have better balance running than I do walking.

I still really want to run a 10k in the fall, and I know that MS fatigue is going to be my biggest obstacle to overcome if I am ever going to be able to accomplish that. When my body gets fatigued, the nerves go haywire and it’s not good. So I’m looking into strength training (i.e. Crossfit) so that I can run for longer without my body getting so fatigued.

Overall I’m still feeling really great physically. My mental state is improving as well. I suppose you could say this year’s theme is recovery and strength. And FUN. Oh, I have so much more to share but I hate to lump it all into one post so we’ll cap this here and move on to the next subject very soon!

 

Dreams come true

I love the theater. I really do, but until recently I have only had a vague realization of this truth. I went to see a professional ballet with a friend and my heart leapt into my throat the moment I stepped into the theater, and that’s when I knew. There’s just something magical about it that I can’t explain. 

Ever since our high school band played a medley of songs from Les Miserables and my instructor sat down and told us the whole tragic story, I’ve dreamt of seeing it on stage. I just really fell in love with the music, mostly. When they turned it into a movie, I went to see it the day after Christmas and I bawled. The movie was great, but the live show has to be better. Because, you know, it’s LIVE.

All of this to say that it’s been a sort of secret dream of mine for over 20 years to see Les Miserables live, and when I saw that it was coming to our area the weekend of my upcoming birthday, that spark of a dream was reunited. I know I’m mixing metaphors, but whatev, it’s my blog lol. When I shared this dream with the ladies in my church group, they squealed. They wanted to go too! We could all go together and it would be magical! Oh my gosh, I couldn’t believe I had found other ladies who felt the same I did about the theater and were totally up for going, and sharing my birthday with me. So, it’s settled. We have our tickets and we’re going to see Les Miserables! It’s going to be so epic, I might even wear make-up.

Lazy Sunday afternoon

Lazy Sunday afternoon… I feel like that’s a song lyric but I can’t seem to place it with any memorable melody. Oh well.

I finally have my computer back, as of last night. I ended up restoring it to the factory defaults, which took a good day and a half. Then I had to restore all my files, which took another day. So while it felt like FOREVER it wasn’t so bad. And I’m pretty sure I have everything back. This computer is not that old so it shouldn’t be having so many issues, in my opinion, but I am glad to have my backup so I don’t lose my photos and documents. Technology is amazing, when it works.

And it is working, that’s for sure. I was able to scan my Bible study notes, so I can get caught up on my lesson homework for this week. We are studying the book of Romans, which is an amazing book. Lots of practical truth in there with a good dose of conviction, grace, and humility. I’m loving it.

Yesterday I ran the 2017 Hot Cider Hustle 5k with some awesome ladies. I had not trained for it so I had some really low expectations going in. Then when the forecast showed rain for the day, my expectations dropped to another level. My new goal was twofold, finish before sundown, and have fun. My chip time was 43:45, which I don’t think was too bad considering the lack of training and the rain. I think my 5k times have usually been around 38 or so. I have to give a shout out to my sister who came and ran not only a PR, but placed 1st in her age group! Last year it was my brother placing 1st in his age group. I think that is some kind of weird and awesome tradition.

When I ran this race last year I had so much trouble with the route, so I wasn’t going to run it again. But then I saw that they changed the location altogether, with a much safer looking route, so I couldn’t resist (I’m totally in it for the swag – hoodies, coffee mugs, hot cider) and it’s just a fun race so I hope to be able to run it every year.

We became official members of our church today. We’ve been attending there for well over a year and just hadn’t really gotten around to it. But things finally did slow down and we were able to make it happen. We love this church. Everyone there has been so welcoming and genuine – both with their personal faith and with their hang-ups – that we feel like it’s a great place to have some healthy encouragement and accountability as we work to become better followers of Christ. That and they have free coffee 😉

This concludes my lazy Sunday update. I hope everyone is hanging in there. HUGS!!

I’m a crier…

I know, I know, I went a full month without blogging. Life just gets so busy in the summer, and I’m so busy trying to be “present” that I rarely get the time or mental energy to sit down and talk about what’s going on. And now that I do, I really don’t know where to start. So I’m just going to start with today.

Today I was scheduled to have my monthly Tysabri infusion for MS. I’ve been bringing my daughter with me to these infusions while school is out, and today was no different. Except that it was, because the infusion center had moved to a new building, and today was our first visit there. I was informed upon arrival – after being dropped off by the Spec-Tran – that I could not bring my daughter back with me, per a new policy. I immediately freaked, wondering what I was going to do. Do I let her sit alone in a waiting room for the three hours, do I cancel the appointment and call Spec-Tran to see if they could come back to get us, or do I text someone who may be able to help. I ended up texting a friend, and she was able to pick her up. But she had plans that i didn’t want to disrupt, so I eventually texted my father-in-law to arrange a transfer, and also to have him pick me up when I was done, and take us both home.

After my friend had picked up my daughter, I went back up to the infusion center to finish getting checked in. The nurse who took me back, Nell, asked me how I was doing today and, since she was a familiar face and had asked the question, I of course broke into tears. Because that’s what I do. When I’m happy, sad, scared, mad, whatever, I cry. And Nell, bless her heart, told me to just let it out. So I did. And then the heat started to leave my bones and I was able to breathe. They checked my blood pressure and it was normal, believe it or not.

All said and done, everything was fine. My daughter was fine. She was safe and with people I would trust with my life. I got my medicine – even got the IV in on the first try without much spazzing in my vein – and it was fine. A really effing frustrating day, but it was all fine. And the Tigers had a rain delay so I’m actually able to relax at home on my comfy couch with my chocolate peanut butter non-dairy ice cream and watch the Tigers play.

That’s all for now, but I do want to share all the other exciting stuff that’s been going on. Trips the kids and I have taken, foods I’ve been enjoying (and some not so much), the books I’m reading, movies I’ve been watching, stuff like that. And I will, I promise. Not today, but soon. Right now, ice cream and baseball.

In sickness and in health…

You know, I try really hard to be as healthy as I can. I can’t undo the damage MS has already done to my nerves, but I can do the best with what I’ve got left and the body I’ve got now. I stopped eating meat back in November. It’s gone well, so I gave up dairy last week. Right after I cheated a few days eating meat. And then I got sick with some nasty chest congestion. Ugh. The cheating was certainly not worth it.

Then today, I’m having coffee with a friend and BAM! I started having an attack of vertigo. It was so weird, y’all, I mean I have experienced dizziness but this was so much more. I mean, everything around me seemed to be literally turning. And it lasted for a good two minutes before it calmed down. The problem was that the feeling never really went entirely away, even long after my friend had left. I texted another friend to see if what I was experiencing was normal, and if I should go the urgent care or something. I was still feeling super dizzy and I was having some numbness in my left arm. But as I was texting with her I realized that yes, I probably should go. So I called my husband to come get me. My knight in shining armor dropped everything and came as quick as he could. In the meantime my friend came over to check on me and keep an eye on my kids while my husband and I were at the urgent care.

Thankfully, all my vitals and an EKG were normal. The doctor explained that it was most likely inflammation from my recent chest cold that got transferred and consequently trapped in my ear drum, and that it should clear up if I just give it time. In the meantime he gave me an anti-nausea medication to take in case the dizziness is really bothering me or making me feel unsafe. The medicine has helped tremendously.

I was just so ecstatic that I wasn’t having a heart attack and that I didn’t end up in the hospital because I have a family reunion to go to this weekend that I am SUPER STOKED about. Because I have an amazing family full of aunts and uncles and cousins and cousins-plus whom I never get to see anymore. I was so afraid that my stupid health issues were going to ruin that, so I’m just happy. Happy, happy, happy.

I did tell my husband – who knows how hard I try to be low maintenance, and loves me despite my utter failure at it – that I’m ready to get back to the “in health” part of our marriage vows. Seriously.

Hot Mess

85 degree summer heat.

Baseball tournament.

M.S.

Tingly hands debut.

Nerve pain.

Broken A/C freak out.

Sunburn won’t let me cool down.

Feeling helpless.

How does this not bother everyone else the way it does me?

What is wrong with me?

Oh yeah…. M.S.

Crying in the shower, snot running down the drain.

A good night’s sleep tried to help.

Literally dragged my foot to the bathroom the next morning (I did say “tried”).

I sat and waited in the physical therapy office for a half hour before checking in with the receptionist to see what the hold-up was. She was quite obviously unaware of the time of day, and had forgotten to let the therapist know I had arrived. It goes on from there, my bad luck, but I’m tired of hashing it out, those dumb details, so I’ll attempt brevity. I missed my ride, they tried to get me a new one, but I took a ride from a friend instead. Because I didn’t want to risk unleashing my emotions on a complete stranger. I came really close to doing that already at the therapist’s office, after discovering I had missed my originally scheduled ride. My husband reassured me that this was just a minor bump in the road, which I should have already known of course, but he knew I needed to hear it (He still amazes me, coming up with the right thing to say).

This was not my typical Monday. I don’t usually have to be anywhere, or talk to anyone but my family. So it was hard to do in the wake of a rough-on-me weekend. I just didn’t have the tools necessary to cope with minor hiccups like delayed appointments and missed rides. I spouted my frustration on Facebook and received lots of encouragement in return, but I felt a little shameful doing it. Because I like to be the positive one. I guess today I just decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Because it was going to take a lot of effort.

But those positive words helped, and the ride from a friend, and then a good nap in my own bed (with working air conditioning!). The kids were with grandpa for most of the day so my only interruption was the dog barking at who knows what. It was nice. And then I grabbed a beer, turned on some Led Zeppelin, and started chopping vegetables for dinner. I managed to relax. Truly relax.

I have more doctors to see this week and then I start some physical therapy next week. I’d bore you with the physical therapy details if I could remember them. So you’re in luck, cuz I have a terrible memory.

Peace out, readers. I hope you take some time this week to relax. Really, truly relax. It can only do you good.