This is just a theory, but maybe God does His best work in us when we stop trying so hard. When we decide to take a moment or two every day to sit and listen, and ask for his help. Every day. Over and over and over. Now, we do lots of things on a daily basis – brush our teeth, go to work, do laundry, wash dishes – and we don’t think about it. We just do it. Because it’s important. So why does spending time with our creator and savior seem so difficult sometimes? I’ll never know the answer to that, but dang it I’m gonna keep at it. Because I need Him. Like the air I breathe, I need Jesus. Every day, all day.
I’m finding that I do my best thinking when my “ears” are off (my cochlear implant processors). Even at night, when the house is quiet. It’s just a whole different kind of quiet, because all I hear is the low ringing tones of tinnitus and absolutely nothing else. You probably don’t realize there is noise to be heard, but just try plugging your ears for a few seconds and you’ll see what I mean. There’s a word for that noise but I can’t think of it at the moment. Ambient maybe?
What’s funny about me enjoying this silent existence is that it used to terrify me. So much so, that I needed medication just to sleep at night. But 4 years of deafness and now I welcome the silence. It’s helpful to retreat into myself, to focus my thoughts, but mostly I embrace it because it’s now my favorite time to talk to Jesus. He meets me here in the silence. He was here with me every day while I wrestled with hearing loss and vision loss back in 2013, and he’s never left me since. I don’t share this info often, but there was a song I used to sing during that time, over and over and over mostly in my head, and it brought me peace and comfort when not much else did. I’ll post the lyrics below because you might see how unbelievably appropriate it was for what I was going through. The interesting thing about it, no – miraculous – is that prior to losing my hearing, I had only heard that song one time that I can recall. It was in a movie that I watched once years ago. How on earth could I have remembered that song? Only God knows. But boy, did that song ever save me from a really ugly and scary time in my life, and I believe it will now forever be my theme song.
Losing my hearing and vision was an enormous life changer for me, for obvious reasons, but God has used it all to bring about incredibly wonderful changes. The biggest change, and the one I am most grateful for, is that it solidified my faith in Jesus. He showed me through that song, through the support we received from family and friends, through Scripture, through the fact that we survived it all, that He will never leave me.
So. When I’m settling in for the night and am taking off my ears and entering the silence, I am delighted to talk to Him. He is my peace, forever and always, amen.
Jesus, Lover of my Soul
Jesus, lover of my soul
Jesus, I will never let you go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
Set my feet upon the rock, and now I know
I love you, I need you
Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go
My Savior, my closest friend
I will worship you until the very end
Lazy Sunday afternoon… I feel like that’s a song lyric but I can’t seem to place it with any memorable melody. Oh well.
I finally have my computer back, as of last night. I ended up restoring it to the factory defaults, which took a good day and a half. Then I had to restore all my files, which took another day. So while it felt like FOREVER it wasn’t so bad. And I’m pretty sure I have everything back. This computer is not that old so it shouldn’t be having so many issues, in my opinion, but I am glad to have my backup so I don’t lose my photos and documents. Technology is amazing, when it works.
And it is working, that’s for sure. I was able to scan my Bible study notes, so I can get caught up on my lesson homework for this week. We are studying the book of Romans, which is an amazing book. Lots of practical truth in there with a good dose of conviction, grace, and humility. I’m loving it.
Yesterday I ran the 2017 Hot Cider Hustle 5k with some awesome ladies. I had not trained for it so I had some really low expectations going in. Then when the forecast showed rain for the day, my expectations dropped to another level. My new goal was twofold, finish before sundown, and have fun. My chip time was 43:45, which I don’t think was too bad considering the lack of training and the rain. I think my 5k times have usually been around 38 or so. I have to give a shout out to my sister who came and ran not only a PR, but placed 1st in her age group! Last year it was my brother placing 1st in his age group. I think that is some kind of weird and awesome tradition.
When I ran this race last year I had so much trouble with the route, so I wasn’t going to run it again. But then I saw that they changed the location altogether, with a much safer looking route, so I couldn’t resist (I’m totally in it for the swag – hoodies, coffee mugs, hot cider) and it’s just a fun race so I hope to be able to run it every year.
We became official members of our church today. We’ve been attending there for well over a year and just hadn’t really gotten around to it. But things finally did slow down and we were able to make it happen. We love this church. Everyone there has been so welcoming and genuine – both with their personal faith and with their hang-ups – that we feel like it’s a great place to have some healthy encouragement and accountability as we work to become better followers of Christ. That and they have free coffee 😉
This concludes my lazy Sunday update. I hope everyone is hanging in there. HUGS!!
Just real quick folks, I’m checking in to let you know today I am committing to every day – every day – starting with two things before everything else. One – time with God, praying and reading the Bible. Two – 30 minutes of exercise, walking, running, sit-ups, whatever. Those two things, in that order, must be completed before I do anything else each day. So if I know I have plans for the day that could interfere, then I just have to get up a little earlier to make room for those two things. Gah! We’ll see how this goes. This is certainly not the first time I’ve tried to get back to basics and keep these priorities in my life (well maybe for the first item, the second one is a more recent addition). So I’m not telling you because it’s new, but I’m telling you because if I post it here maybe I’ll remember that it’s here and that I made the commitment.
I think this will help me. I have been storing up a lot of anxiety lately over all of the details. Piddly little details, and I’m all worked up over them. So I’m just trying to get centered. Again.
Today I’ve completed those first two, even after going back to bed for the majority of the morning, and now I’m onto the next. Toilets to be cleaned, floors to be vacuumed. And I’m sporting my phone on my arm like a runner so I can groove to my techno station. Gotta make it fun, people!
Oh, and coffee. Another cup of coffee is in the works.
Wait, I forgot to mention – today my son turned 10!! That’s a really big deal (at least it is for him, and I still remember turning double digits myself) and I totally ignored it with this post, didn’t I? I think I’m supposed to share a nice photo and a story of his birth, or something like that, but nah, forget “supposed to”. We have celebrations planned for him, dinner with the family tonight and a party on Sunday. So I’m sure you’ll hear more about it from me soon enough.
Now back to the toilet business. *Focus, Mindy, focus.*