Category Archives: Deep thoughts

Jesus is my healer

Sometimes I wonder if God wants me to share something, and I’ll pray about it, and I’ll journal, and I’ll wait. And then he shows me a Scripture or a sign or I just have a serious prompting in my heart that makes it clear that yes, I should share this. And this is one of those stories.

As I was chatting with a friend Sunday  about illness, dark times, and recovery (her dad recently went through quite a bit with a cancer scare), she brought up the time I was so sick I was sleeping all day long. She told me of when she took me for walks to try to wake me up, and specifically a time she took me to Office Max. As we were walking through the store she had to catch me because I fell asleep standing up. This astounded me. I knew it had been bad, but I had no idea how bad. Then another friend joined in the conversation and told me about people visiting in the hospital. Most of the people she listed, I don’t even remember seeing there. It was surreal, hearing these stories and feeling as if they were talking about someone else. It brought me to tears.

So I went home Sunday contemplating all of this. Later that day, Mike affirmed the gravity of the situation when he told me the nights I was in the hospital he wouldn’t sleep – couldn’t sleep – because he was so afraid of losing me. That brought me to tears again, picturing where he was, and what he had to deal with. And it just made me so… so… THANKFUL. And that night I fell asleep praising God for everything; my life, my husband, kids, friends, family.

This morning I read a story of Jesus healing 10 lepers, and in essence it was God answering my question – “should I share?” –  Luke 17:14-19 – “When he saw them he said to them, ‘Go and show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, ‘Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?’ And he said to him, ‘Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.’”

So I guess this is me, turning back to praise God with a loud voice and giving thanks to Jesus. He is still in the healing business.


Identity Crisis?

I started drafting a blog post yesterday with the following (to remind myself to write about it when I had more time):
“An introvert feeling lonely after three days with minimal human interaction?”

See, yesterday I was a confused, melancholy mess, for weird and petty reasons. All day I was struggling with wanting to call someone, invite them over, but then fearing that whomever I called would be too busy for a spontaneous visit or worse, not want to see me. When my husband asked me if I was okay (knowing I wasn’t), I fought back the tears (unsuccessfully) as I explained that I had been feeling lonely. And I noted how strange that was for me, the introvert. After a healthy chat, my sweet husband offered to drop me off at the mall so I could spend the day chatting with strangers. He was joking to get a laugh out of me (which worked), but it actually sounded tempting.

Then a good friend of mine posted this link on Facebook today:
Real Life Examples of an Extroverted Introvert So You Don’t Get Confused” I found this to be really interesting timing, having that article pop up in my news feed, validating all that I was feeling just the day before.

What I found most interesting in the article is the explanation that introversion/extroversion is not an either/or characteristic, but is more of a spectrum. That is to say, you can have tendencies for both, and some people lean more to one side than the other. I lean heavily on the introversion side, and have for most of my life. Which is why yesterday’s bout of loneliness was so dang confusing. Loneliness is not something I have encountered often. Hardly ever, in fact.

I really enjoy talking with people, hearing their stories. I want to know where they come from, what interests them. My favorite part of the day lately has been chatting with the parents from our neighborhood as we wait for the school bus. Perhaps these past two years of drastic changes have brought some extroverted tendencies my way. I suppose that’s not such a bad thing, right?

I’m not dead! I’m getting better! I think I’ll go for a walk…

That title is a Monty Python and the Holy Grail quote for those in the know… best read out loud with a British accent.

It’s true! I’m still here! Blog still somewhat active! The irony here, folks, is that when there is much going on and much to tell, there isn’t much time to sit down and write about it. But that time is coming. In fact, it’s kind of here, and as soon as the dust settles, I’m sure you’ll be hearing more from me.

Our little family of four (plus the dog) is happy and healthy. It’s beautiful and amazing and I am so thankful. However, I am surrounded by friends and family who are struggling in a variety of ways; sickness, disease, financial struggles, you name it. And seriously, my heart is aching for every single one of them. I am overwhelmed with a desire to help, now that I am awake enough to be aware of others’ needs. That fog has lifted from my internal/mental space. I am free to be aware. Which is a gift, yes, but with my limitations I don’t know HOW to help, other than to pray. So I pray, a lot, and I reach out as much as possible, because I know when I was struggling it meant the world to me when people did that. A note here, a message there, it all made such a difference. People say that it’s the thought that counts, but that’s not true. Unless the thought leads to action – great or small – it means nothing. But those actions do mean a great deal, no matter how small we think they are.

So that’s all I have for today, and I realize it’s a bit of a cheat, but oh well. Life goes on. Ob-la-di, ob-la-da.

Wait, before I go, can I challenge you all to something today? Turn your thoughts into actions. The positive ones, of course. If you think about doing something nice, DO IT. Be kind and courageous. I dare you!