I’m not big on resolutions, so I don’t make them. However, I’ve been hemming and hawing the last couple weeks about rejoining CrossFit. I stopped going a couple months ago to cut back on our expenses, but I think that was a bad move. I’ve since been sliding slowly toward depression, and have stopped running as well. It’s time someone gave me a swift butt-kicking to get me back in gear. So maybe I make this decision, to rejoin CrossFit and resume running regularly, and maybe it just happens to be the new year. So you could call it a New Year’s Resolution, or you could just call it coincidental timing.
So I’m just poking my head up to share that. I’m still here, and I’m doing fine. I’m just hibernating. I’ve been hunkered down at home, enjoying quality time with the family, and secretly looking forward to the kids going back to school so I can find a routine I can stick with. We’ve had a really great Christmas break so far, and we still have several days of it left. I pray you are all enjoying yourselves around these holidays and I wish you all a blessed and memorable 2019.
I’m frustrated today. Frustrated and grumpy. It’s not anything specific, really. Just more of a general feeling. I was trying to crochet but it’s a challenging basket weave pattern and I just didn’t feel like messing with it anymore. This frustration makes me very unpleasant to be around because I’m a major grump. So I’m upstairs with a beer and a laptop, and I’m hashing it out on the keyboard. I was working on my book for awhile, with my cochlear implant volumes turned way down, and my son came into the room and scared the living daylights out of me. I didn’t hear him come in!! It’s a good thing I wasn’t holding my beer at the time. I was at a stuck point with the book anyway so the distraction was nice. He read some parts of the book and then we got to talking about what he remembered from when I first lost my hearing. It’s always interesting to hear it from my kids’ perspectives.
I think what I’ve learned today, or was reminded of, is that writing calms me. That frustrated feeling has almost completely left me, and I don’t feel like such a grump anymore. And I appreciate that you are willing to read all the silly things I write. So thank you, reader. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
It’s December. My 40th December on this planet, so I am not so surprised anymore when I get all gloomy and just want to stay holed up in my cocoon (i.e. blankets, sweaters, recliner). I’m reading through my old journals as I’m trying to write my book and I’m noticing a common theme: I nap a lot. I don’t remember ever being much of a napper, and was always a little envious of people like my husband who could nap with ease. But now I feel like I’ve really mastered the art. Seriously. Y’all, I nap like it’s my JOB.
And that’s all I have to say for now, because, of course, it’s time to go back to bed.
It’s been a week, and my fatigue is finally lifting. I’m back on the vegan diet, I’ve pushed through to get a couple good runs in this week, and I’ve been napping a lot. All of that, combined, seems to make a big difference. I also have my next Tysabri infusion on Monday so that should help as well. The fog is lifting! Hooray!
So, what have I been up to? I think I already mentioned I’m leading a Financial Peace University class at church. We are three weeks in and it’s going pretty well! Every one is really excited to be there and we have great discussions every week. I’m really hoping this class becomes a regular thing, because I know there are people who expressed interest in the class but weren’t able to sign up for this one.
I made homemade granola bars the other day, for the first time ever in my life, and I was really surprised at how good they turned out! I have a couple ideas to tweak the recipe, but nothing major. I didn’t measure anything as I was just going from memory of a recipe I had read earlier in the day. Oatmeal, peanut butter, honey, and chocolate chips. I was surprised at how easy they were to make and how many bars it yielded. So much cheaper than the store bought ones, by far. I’ll have to remember this and make another batch soon. Aside from the honey, these are all ingredients I almost always have on hand, so it would be nice to be able to throw a batch together to have snacks to feed the family for when we are running around and don’t have time for proper meals.
I’ve also been doing this weekly Bible study and we are currently reading the book of Joshua. The Old Testament has always been a bit difficult for me and while it’s a challenge, it’s nice to be able to tackle that challenge with other ladies who are usually equally confused. I’m learning a lot and that’s always a good thing.
Alright, now I’ve typed a bunch of things and I still feel like I’m forgetting something. I’ll go back to my crocheting, or my Farmville, and maybe it will come to me. Or not.
I sleep pretty well these days. I don’t have the burden of sound that most people have. I never have to worry about being woken in the middle of the night by the dog barking at a neighbor heading off to work the third shift, or a thunderstorm passing through. I don’t even have to worry about my husband’s snoring anymore, though I had been married long enough when I lost my hearing, and I had already learned to sleep through it.
My kids started school today. My son started middle school, which starts earlier than the elementary school does, and is located quite a bit further away from our house. Those two factors mean the school bus comes a full hour and a half earlier than his younger sister’s bus. It makes for an early morning, but it went surprisingly well today! I woke up at 5:30 to give myself time to brew my coffee and wake up a little before waking him up (He had set an alarm but slept right through it, as I had expected he would).
Y’all, I was really dreading 5:30 am but I woke this morning feeling surprisingly rested. I checked the sleeping log that connects to my watch and it said I went to bed at 11 pm and had over 3 hours of deep sleep. Six and a half hours of sleep, 3 of it deep sleep. This really surprised me because I generally sleep a full 8 hours or more and get almost 3 hours of sleep. So getting more sleep apparently wasn’t really helping me? I guess it’s all about quality, not quantity, because I had a full, busy day today and did not feel the overwhelming urge to nap. I survived an entire day that started at 5:30 am with NO NAP. What?!?! I don’t know if this is a fluke or what, so I’m going to see if I can keep it up, going to bed at 11 and getting up at 5:30.
I have to say, I really enjoyed 5:30. It was super peaceful in the house, and I was able to wake up at my speed (i.e. slow as molasses). I read my devotional, and just eased into the day. It was really nice. It was just me and my coffee, and Jesus. I’m looking forward to tomorrow morning!
I was lamenting to my therapist this week that I recently started feeling like the Zoloft I take was leaving me a bit numb and had altered my usual emotional self. Which I suppose in hindsight is odd because I’ve been taking it since last December. She wasn’t quite sold on the idea, I could tell, and she let me just talk around the issue until I came around to the possibility that maybe I am just aging and becoming more subdued. Mellow. But we agreed I could still be mellow and maintain my core characteristics. I can still be the same old Mindy. Just a mellower version, I suppose. My husband has always called me Mel, which is short for my full name – Melinda. So now he can call me Mellow Mel (though if he did I doubt I would answer lol). This is an interesting development, but I can embrace it. It’s kind of nice to be more calm. I could definitely get used to it, and I hope it lasts.
Well, I haven’t hit the wall just yet. I did some lifting this morning at CrossFit, and then spent the rest of the morning doing bookkeeping, i.e. paying bills for our family and the church. And now it’s 2 pm and I’m zonked. My son read my post yesterday and he votes for the option to rest, so I might do that. And then get back to the things. Early afternoon is a perfect time for napping, wouldn’t you say?