Category Archives: Coffee

Official Break-up

My brain is finally letting me sit and truly relax a bit so I have a hot cup of coffee next to me, my laptop, and my cozy blankets. Yes – blankets – plural. Because snuggling up in a recliner with a couple cozy afghans is one of my favorite things about the fall season.

I learned this past week that dairy and I can no longer be friends. I learned it pretty quickly with bacon, and I accepted it graciously and moved on. But dairy has been a little harder. I gave up eating meat and eggs and dairy, all at different times over the years. Over time I have reintroduced things here and there, paying close attention to how my body responds to each food. Eggs seem to be totally fine, which makes me happy because eggs are great. Some meat, as long as I don’t overdo it with quantity, is fine. Almost no effects at all. Bacon, however, wrecks me. Stabbing, crippling pain and a headache that won’t quit. Legit wrecks me and leaves me useless for almost a day. So I don’t even mess around with bacon, and I’m okay with that.

Dairy, however, was the hardest for me to give up, and I admit I’ve been flirting with it a lot the past several months. I’ll snack on some cheese here and there, but nothing serious. Then Thanksgiving came, and with it lots of leftovers from the day’s meal, including a carton of half and half, my formerly favorite coffee additive. Sooo for the last five days I’ve been indulging in coffee with half and half in it. This morning as I rolled out of bed and padded down the stairs to make my morning coffee, it occurred to me that something had changed. I have slowly been sliding back into a state of fatigue. I’m having a harder time waking up, and my legs are heavy. It’s as if my body just doesn’t want to move. Also, my face has been breaking out more than usual, even with my new rosacea treatments. I kid you not, I have a zit right now IN MY EAR LOBE.

I’m blaming all of this on the half and half. And maybe the whipped cream and pumpkin pie. Because nothing else has changed, that I can think of. I’ve been without the debilitating fatigue of M.S. for a blissful long time now, coincidentally ever since I stopped consuming dairy. For it to show up like this so quickly, I believe, is no coincidence. So, I’m dumping out the half and half. It pains me to feel like I’m wasting it, but the alternative is to drink it and keep getting sicker. I think “wasting” it might be the wise decision here.

So you could call this my official break up with dairy. No more of this on-again off-again business. We’re done. I’ll remember fondly all the late night ice cream binges and the burritos covered in melted cheese. We had some good times, but it’s time to part ways. To commemorate this day, I leave you with this haiku:

Dairy, we had fun
Now you make me sick and tired
I must say goodbye

Short Runs

Post run puppy kisses

Today’s short run was fantastic! Barely had to walk at all, and foot drop feels like just a thing of the past. I can’t believe I’m calling 4 miles a short run, but I guess that just shows what progress I’ve made in this training process. What really struck me as interesting during this run is that my breathing was not labored, and I was still able to maintain a pace around 13 minutes per mile. The other exciting thing was that my feet and legs felt lighter, and my legs seemed almost like they were propelling me forward, almost wanting me to go faster. I had to fight that urge, because that’s what landed me on my face last time. The cooler weather is nice too. Overall it was just a really great run, and I feel like I’m finding my rhythm, my groove.

The thing that has me a little perplexed is Friday’s scheduled run. My plan has me running 12 miles. TWELVE MILES! Aside from that being a really freaking long distance for me to run, I don’t even know WHERE I could run from my house that could get me to 6 miles, so that running there and back would bring me to twelve. I do have a decent 8 mile route, 4 out and back, so I guess I could shorten it to 3 miles out and back and just run it twice. That’s 12, right? I’m making a huge deal about that number, but I am curious to see how my body holds up to it, since I’ll be running 13.1 in just 25 days EEK!

I don’t know if you can tell in the photo above, but Piper is wearing a hoodie. Luke has one he wears with the sleeves cut off and the kids thought it would be fun to put it on the dog. Turns out, she doesn’t hate it, and it really seems to calm her down. She’s a high anxiety dog, and when we told our vet about the sweater, she said she would really benefit from a thunder coat, which would fit her better since they are designed specifically for dogs. So we’ve looked at them and will probably buy one for her soon. In other news, I added a pet category to our monthly budget so we can stop using our food budget to buy Kong balls and dog treats. HA!

Now I’m going to let you go because I have banana bread in the oven and the heavenly smell has me wanting to snuggle up in my recliner with a cup of coffee and a good book. Have a great day, friends!

Change of plans

Our house came with a really awesome metal gazebo thing on the back deck. It had a cover, and when it ripped we replaced it. Then it ripped again, we replaced it again. That one ripped… I think we are on our 4th cover, but we are crossing our fingers that this one will last a little longer. Our backyard is in a wind tunnel so it gets some rough treatment. We shall see.

All this to say that one of my favorite spots at this house is on that back deck, under the gazebo. Since we put up a new cover I’ve been spending every morning out there. Piper loves it because she can play with her ball while I read my Bible and drink my skinny coffee and chocolate greens. Today was no different than any other day, except that when I first walked out I noticed it was sprinkling a little. No worries, right? What’s a little sprinkle when you are under a canopy? But within a few minutes it had turned into a downpour. Even Piper was unwilling to stay out in that mess and she quickly led me to the door to go back inside.

I am finding lately that I can handle a little change in plans. I can’t remember the last time I had a panic attack, and I know that’s a miracle. I can’t take any credit for that because all I’ve done is lean into God’s arms and let Him change me from the inside out.

Rather than be upset about having to go inside, I was okay with the change. And it turned out even better, because my son happened to come downstairs for breakfast and we ended up just sitting and talking. He’s really great to spend time with when he’s not being an energetic spaz, and I’m sure to tell him that (wink wink). We ended our little impromptu time together with some Xbox Kinect fitness game. He beat me on all the challenges except for the last one. Mom’s gotta win sometimes, right?

There’s a moral somewhere in this mundane story. I think the lesson is that sometimes our plans don’t work out, but when they don’t, we need to be on the lookout for the positive, the silver lining. If I had not been forced back inside the house, I would have missed that opportunity to spend that quality time with my son. So sometimes failed plans open us up to better opportunities. But we must be open to seeing them. So there. Stick that in your back pocket. It may come in handy some day.

Madam Sleepsalot

If you’re ever curious about my day to day routine, today is your lucky day. Now that kids are back in school and snow days are hopefully well behind us, I’ve settled into a daily routine. This time around I sort of just go with how my body is feeling, and it’s interesting to me how well this is working.

Every morning I get up at 5:30 with my son, and stay up until 8 when my daughter leaves for the bus stop (her school starts an hour later than his). While the kids are getting ready for school, I’m drinking coffee, reading my Bible, and sometimes eating breakfast (If my stomach is up for it). After the kids are off to school I go back to bed. I don’t set an alarm, I just sleep as long as my body needs to. Some days that’s only an hour or two, some days it’s more. Thursdays I generally sleep much longer because I’m recovering from a full day on Wednesdays, between Bible study in the morning and Financial Peace University at night.

After the morning nap I get up, eat a late breakfast or lunch, and then I get going with that day’s work. This usually includes dishes and laundry, and sometimes paying the bills and running. I’m usually done by 3:00, just before my son gets home from school, and then I can relax with a book or a tv show. Then I start thinking about what to make for dinner. The rest of the evening changes from day to day but in general I’m letting myself relax and enjoy time with family. I’m not stressing about my to do list because I’ve already done the day’s work. The rest can wait until tomorrow.

So you could say I work about 4 hours a day and sleep 10. This seems excessive to me, and the old me would think I was lazy. The new me is learning to understand this is just part of my disability and it’s what my body needs in order to heal and stay healthy.

It’s been really refreshing to be able to establish a routine that allows for a good work/rest balance. I’m getting things done, but I’m working WITH my fluctuating energy levels rather than fighting against them (or giving up altogether, as I have done in the past).

Much of this new attitude has resulted from consistent reminders of the grace God gives us. When I read in Scripture that He tells us to rest and to stop striving, or even to “strive to rest”, I am encouraged to know I’m doing the right thing. Amen? Amen.

Coffee talk

I was at the neighborhood coffee shop today and had a pleasant conversation with the barista. She remembered me (and my drink, a mocha with hazelnut and almond milk!) from the last time I was in there with a friend of mine. She had wanted to ask me about my cochlear implants, and hoped I didn’t mind. Her son has partial hearing loss in one ear, and she’s been encouraging him to get a hearing aid, but he doesn’t feel he needs one. That and he’s a high school student and probably fears the ridicule he might receive from other students. This is a shame, because there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

I wear my cochlear implants proudly, and have never felt self conscious wearing them. The barista, Dana, was nervous to ask me about them, but I told her I love it when people ask. In fact, I wish more people would. I know people must be curious. I know I would be. They are fascinating in the way they work, and not a lot of people really know much about them.

Dana was under the assumption that my hearing with implants would be much better than normal hearing, but I informed her that was not the case. Not to minimize the miracle of the invention, but scientists just cannot outshine God’s invention of the human ear. What I hear is clear, yes, but it has a different quality to it. No, it will never be the same as normal hearing, but having the gift of conversation back after losing it so quickly more than makes up for that disparity.

Dana also found it especially fascinating that what I hear now does not come at all from my ears, but from the microphones built within the earpieces. It’s true, my ears are now just placeholders for my glasses and my cochlear processors. You know when you clean your ears out with a Qtip and it makes that funny noise? Yeah, I don’t hear that anymore. Kinda funny, I suppose.

Anyway, it was good to chat with a friendly stranger about how well the cochlear implants are working for me, and to have someone share in the excitement. I will never take my hearing for granted, ever. I am super grateful for what I have. ‘Nuff said.

“A man was bragging about his new hearing aid and how great it was and how well he could hear with it. His friend asked what kind it was and the man responded, 12:30.”

I’m the boss around here

So, I was doing the dishes today and as I leaned over to put another clean dish in the drying rack I see that there is a full cup of coffee sitting in my Keurig. I stare at it for a second or two, trying to recall brewing a cup of coffee. No one else in this house drinks coffee, so it must have been me. Yet I can’t recall. The cup is cold to the touch, so it’s been there for some time. This worries me.

I wish I could say this is a rare occurrence for me. I wish I could say it happens every now and then if I’m rushed or exhausted or whatever. Because I know it happens to lots of people. My girl friends joke about it, reassuring me that it’s just a normal part of aging. But I don’t think that’s true. I think it happens more frequently to me than it ought to, and I have to be honest: That scares the S**T out of me.

I have multiple sclerosis, and anyone with multiple sclerosis understands that every teeny tiny symptom could be a start of a relapse, or it could be nothing. Fellow MSers understand that hovering cloud of doom, threatening to take over your body once and for all. I have the relapsing kind, for now, so if I do have a relapse I can hold on to the hope that it may not be permanent. I’ve had lots of symptoms that have popped up for a couple months and then gone away, never to reappear. But on the other hand, the damage to my nerves is always permanent and will always leave the potential for problems down the road. Take my vision for example. We’re calling that episode a relapse, but it left permanent damage that will affect me the rest of my life. I will always be visually impaired this side of heaven. I don’t struggle as much with it as I did in the beginning, because by God’s grace I’ve grown and adapted, but it’s always here as a reminder.

But memory loss? I don’t know, that one seems so much scarier to me. I mean, I can deal with losing physical functions. But losing my MIND?? I don’t know. I just don’t know. It just scares me, y’all, and that’s all I wanted to share really. That though I’ve been in the best physical shape of my life lately, feeling good and having no issues, at the end of the day I still have MS. It will always be a part of me. I just have to make sure that it knows who’s the boss around here.

Lazy Sunday afternoon

Lazy Sunday afternoon… I feel like that’s a song lyric but I can’t seem to place it with any memorable melody. Oh well.

I finally have my computer back, as of last night. I ended up restoring it to the factory defaults, which took a good day and a half. Then I had to restore all my files, which took another day. So while it felt like FOREVER it wasn’t so bad. And I’m pretty sure I have everything back. This computer is not that old so it shouldn’t be having so many issues, in my opinion, but I am glad to have my backup so I don’t lose my photos and documents. Technology is amazing, when it works.

And it is working, that’s for sure. I was able to scan my Bible study notes, so I can get caught up on my lesson homework for this week. We are studying the book of Romans, which is an amazing book. Lots of practical truth in there with a good dose of conviction, grace, and humility. I’m loving it.

Yesterday I ran the 2017 Hot Cider Hustle 5k with some awesome ladies. I had not trained for it so I had some really low expectations going in. Then when the forecast showed rain for the day, my expectations dropped to another level. My new goal was twofold, finish before sundown, and have fun. My chip time was 43:45, which I don’t think was too bad considering the lack of training and the rain. I think my 5k times have usually been around 38 or so. I have to give a shout out to my sister who came and ran not only a PR, but placed 1st in her age group! Last year it was my brother placing 1st in his age group. I think that is some kind of weird and awesome tradition.

When I ran this race last year I had so much trouble with the route, so I wasn’t going to run it again. But then I saw that they changed the location altogether, with a much safer looking route, so I couldn’t resist (I’m totally in it for the swag – hoodies, coffee mugs, hot cider) and it’s just a fun race so I hope to be able to run it every year.

We became official members of our church today. We’ve been attending there for well over a year and just hadn’t really gotten around to it. But things finally did slow down and we were able to make it happen. We love this church. Everyone there has been so welcoming and genuine – both with their personal faith and with their hang-ups – that we feel like it’s a great place to have some healthy encouragement and accountability as we work to become better followers of Christ. That and they have free coffee 😉

This concludes my lazy Sunday update. I hope everyone is hanging in there. HUGS!!

Brain Dump

What’s on my mind, you ask? (If you didn’t, feel free to move along…) Food. Coffee. Food again. Running. Writing. A cool breeze on the back deck, birds chirping.

Yesterday I signed up for a 5k that happens in six weeks. With the exception of this morning, I had not run since before school let out for the summer, on account of my knee and hip pain (see dumb butt post). I know I can walk a 5k, no problem, but my goal is to run it the entire way. So I’ve got some work to do to get back to that place.

Side note: the cool breeze is upgrading to a brisk wind. I may have to go inside 😦

The summer is over. There were a couple trips there at the end I haven’t blogged about, but I may yet. Late is still better than never, isn’t it?

School started for my kids on Monday. It was a half day, and they don’t have school on Friday due to Labor Day, so it’s what I would call a “soft opening” to the school year. The kids are thankful for that, but I would have been right on board with jumping right in with a full week. I like my weekdays. I can do my own thing and not have to worry about what the kids are going to do. It’s one of the luxuries of disability that I’ve become accustomed to.

You know what I’m excited about today? You’re gonna laugh, or groan, or both, but I’m really excited to eat macaroni and cheese for lunch. I stopped eating dairy and eggs in June, and it’s been so much harder than giving up meat (that was last November). I’ve since learned to drink my coffee black, and found some really great non-dairy milks, yogurts, and ice creams, but had yet to find a suitable replacement for cheese. At least not any that you would buy pre-made. My cousin told me awhile back about cashew cheese that’s easy to make but I just hadn’t gotten around to trying it. Well, I ordered the necessary ingredients a few weeks ago on Amazon (easier than trying to find nutritional yeast and tapioca starch locally) and finally made a batch on Tuesday. I’ve been putting it on burritos, tacos, pizza even, and it’s surprisingly delicious! So I have a box of macaroni noodles just waiting to be dressed up with this stuff, and I believe today will be the day.

My daughter started taking ballet lessons last week. She’s been wanting to for years (she’s only 7) but I just kept putting it off because it’s way out of my comfort zone. But I finally worked up the courage to get it going, and I’m so glad I did. The smile on her face when we walked into the dance shop to buy her ballet slippers was priceless. I had not seen her light up like that in a really long time. Maybe ever. And she’s loving the practices, and looks forward to it every week. I’m really excited to see how this goes.

My son, the big sports guy, is taking a break from competitive sports for the fall. He’s going to take swim lessons at the YMCA, to learn to be a better swimmer. Then when wrestling season rolls around, he’ll be back at it. The kid has so much energy we need to keep him busy or he’ll drive us both nuts.

I chopped 8 inches off my hair back in July and I am loving it. I actually think I want to go a leeeetle bit shorter. Just a little. And highlights. The highlights are happening next week, for sure. We’ll see if I end up with just a trim, or if I decide to cut it shorter.

Oh! And did I mention I get my groceries delivered now? Oh yes, I’ve been anxiously waiting for that service to come to our area and I’ll tell you it’s even better than I had anticipated. It is saving us (me) SO MUCH stress. I don’t have to plan our meals or grocery trips around my husband’s schedule. I need stuff, I just order it online and it comes right to the house. Just like magic.

You can say things are going well. I’ve left out a lot, believe it or not, but that’s enough for today. Until next time…

It’s always good to be home

The kids and I went camping last week with my dad’s church family. It’s something the kids have been doing every summer for the past four or five years. This was my dad’s last year to be able to go, because he is retiring next June. So there was a lot of bittersweet floating around. However, I and the kids have been invited back for future years, since they have especially bonded with a lot of the kids there. We had a lot of fun. The kids swam, rode bikes, played gaga ball (??), went kayaking (my favorite part, may write a separate post about that), and played tug of war in the river. Lots of great memories.

My legs are in shambles. Good, old fashioned muscle pain from all the walking, I suppose. I walked constantly for the whole trip and I came back home to find I had gained 5 pounds. Seriously. I guess I forgot to mention there was a lot of eating as well!

I also woke up this morning with considerable nerve pain in my feet, which is unusual for the morning. It usually only comes around in the evening. I guess my body is just paying the toll for all the fun we had. I am more than okay with that. Just gonna keep moving forward anyway, with small breaks in between. No need to rush.

Speaking of waking up this morning… my husband woke me up to let me know that the refrigerator wasn’t working, and that he needed me to move the food to the fridge in the basement. He was on his way out the door to work but he is hoping to come back at some point to fix it. We’ll see. I’m just really grateful that we have a second fridge for these sorts of occasions. So that was my first task of the day, and I’m definitely going to take advantage of an empty fridge to get it all wiped out. There are lots of sticky spots and who knows what’s in those nooks and crannies.

The kids are happy to be home. The dog is happy we’re home. Hubby is really happy we’re home. Waking up on a Monday in our own beds is surely something to be thankful for, no matter what the day has in store for us. And coffee, of course.

 

April Update

I am running a 5k next week. I haven’t been training for it. Occasionally I’ll get a run in, and I do fine. So I think I’ll do fine on race day. I won’t be breaking any records, but I’m confident I’ll finish on my feet. Which I guess is the most important thing to me. Just keep swimming.

This morning when my son went to pack his lunch, he found a gang of tiny ants in his lunch box. Eww. He freaked out, rightfully so I suppose, but he went a little overboard if you ask me. I mean, they weren’t biting ants, or even the flying kind. But still, what a mess. The kids managed to get out the door to the bus on time, while I did what I could to clean up before my ride came (dermatologist appointment today), but I’m sure there are still creepy crawlies hanging around here and there. I put his backpack in the garage because they were there too. This is per my son of course, because my vision, you know? They are too small for me to see, unless I know where to look. It didn’t help that his backpack is black, so the sneaky ants are camouflaged. 

Ugh. Then my ride came 15 minutes early, and I was still in my pajamas. But the driver was plenty patient, and everything was fine. The day could only go up from there, right?

And it did! The dermatologist seemed to know exactly what is going on with my face, and it turns out it’s not my fault! It broke out again when I was on the prednisonea couple months ago, and just won’t clear up. He said the prednisone was likely just a trigger for the underlying cause, which he believes to be rosacea. Stress is also a trigger, so I think I need less stress in my life. Anyone wanna take my kids for awhile? Or the dog? Or both? Anyway, the doctor called in a script for a cream, and I’ll go back in a few weeks to see if it’s helping. And he was a super nice doctor and didn’t make me feel crazy or neurotic, so I’m feeling better now. Amazing what a difference a kind interaction can do for your mood.

Now I have the whole day ahead of me, and with a positive outlook to boot. I’m thinking a nice cup of coffee and a good book are in my future today…