MS Confessions

Today for most of the day I was feeling unwell. Not outright sick, not even on the verge of sick, just unwell. It’s hard to describe, but I was feeling a little more off-balance than usual, borderline dizzy, and I was getting short of breath after singing only one or two songs at church. I just felt like something wasn’t right. And while this sort of strange feeling would typically go unnoticed or ignored by the average person, I was feeling a little uneasy about it. MS is not a controlling factor in my life every day, but when it does hit, it can hit hard.That uneasy feeling I was having was quickly veering towards an all out fear that I could easily go back to where I was in the fall of 2013 – sleeping 20 hours a day, not knowing what was going on the other 4. We’ll never know what really caused all that, but since it accompanied the loss of vision – which was caused by the MS – it’s probably safe to say MS was the culprit.

So I guess this is just a confession that sometimes I do still  get scared. I really don’t want MS to steal any more life from me than it already has. I know there is no cure, so it will always be around, but I can’t dwell there. I can only take this one day at a time. Today was just a slow day. But I rested as best I could, spent quality time with my family, and will go to bed tonight thanking God for allowing me another day on this earth. We must enjoy the moments we are given. Make those memories, and hold onto them. Seize the day.

carpe_diem

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