Lately I’ve been struggling (and this time I mean it) with severe anxiety and worry and irritability. In short, I’ve ben in perpetual “Bitch Mode”. I’ve been on edge constantly, and the slightest misstep, accident, or loud noise can set me off. It’s not fair to my family, and it’s no way to live.
Bitch Mode ends today.
Not that it won’t ever creep back in, but today I am deciding that this state, being “on edge”, must end. And that I am the only one who can make that decision.
For one thing, it’s kind of childish to have all this anxiety over trivial things like a puppy peeing in the house or children spilling sugar on the floor. Because there are people suffering and dying all over the world. That’s just a really big thing that can’t be solved, but it adds perspective at least. Second of all, life is precious and if you’re busy worrying about trivial things, you are not enjoying and being grateful for what you have. I have these “problems” because I have a puppy and two beautiful children. Those are things I would not change. Therefore, I choose to be grateful, not hateful (see what I did there?). Just pause, breathe, and live in the moment. If something is stressing me, I’m going to stop and ask why, and if I can’t come up with a good reason, then I’ll just have to let it go and move on.
What does this all come down to? Me, learning how to relax. To really, really, RELAX. This is something that does not come naturally to me, and I’ll likely have to go through this process again. But I suppose that makes sense. The prefix of the word is “re-“, which indicates repetition. Again and again and again.
Pull up a chair, we may be here awhile! 😉