Ich liebe dich

Oh these days are flying by. Puppy care is ongoing (she never stops leaving puddles on the floor). Some days are better than others. Some have both good and bad. My attempt at cleaning up my language went out the window. At least I’ll have the children’s assistance for the next two weeks while they are home for the holidays. Luke is a big help with taking her out to go potty, and they are both great at playing with her, as well as showing me where she piddles (the nature of my vision loss makes it nearly impossible for me to see that type of thing).

I think evening will end up becoming my new writing ritual time, if I can manage to pull out the laptop before checking up on my Words with Friends games (Did you realize you can  ave like, a zillion games going at once? And still have zero chance of winning?). I had planned to write about where I went this afternoon, before getting all pissed off at the dog who pees everywhere. But now that I got that griping out of my system, I’ll move on with that original plan.

I thank you kindly for staying with me this far.

This afternoon we went to a family Christmas gathering for my stepmom’s family. I’ve known them since I was 9, so they are just as much family as my blood relatives. We didn’t make it out last year, what with all the health issues I was dealing with at the time. So I wanted to see them, but I had been saying we weren’t going to go, because it’s a huge family, and though my cochlear implant is a miraculous thing in small, quiet settings, I knew it wouldn’t do so well in a house full of umpteen loud Germans and their offspring. I just figured it would be too depressing for me to be with all these people I loved but couldn’t interact very well with.

Read those last few sentences again. Notice a trend? My cochlear implant… depressing for me… I couldn’t… Me, me, me. After giving it more thought and discussing it with my husband, I realized how selfish I was being in refusing to go. I was making it all about MY experience, and to hell with my kids or my husband, and never mind that my extended family loves us all and wants to see us.

So, we went, and even though I did not plan well with the battery situation and it died just before we left to go home (had to let the puppy out), we all had a wonderful time. I was able to have one-on-one conversations by reading lips and using the special *battery-draining* UltraZoom program on my CI. I forget that conversations go both ways. Just as I want to hear and understand what someone is saying, they want to hear what I am saying as well, which is totally possible with or without a CI. Just being with family, seeing them laughing and having a good time was such a gift – a gift I was almost selfish enough to pass up. Just another lesson in seizing the day, I suppose, and in cherishing every moment. Hug your loved ones, people. Go!

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